Without Sin
by Meggin Lane
Summary: Dean died a martyrs death. The demons burned away all his sin and he gets brought back before he becomes one of them but he's been changed. Saint Dean? You've got to be kidding right?
1. Chapter 1

Without Sin

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just love 'em. Wish ta 'ell I worked for Kripke.

#

They tortured him for revenge, for all their kind he'd trapped and sent back. When they were tired of that, they tortured him because the life he'd led had stained his soul with sin. For that they had a right to. It's what they do. So, for the lives of the innocent that had died by his hands while under their possession they tortured him. For the scams and the lies that he used to get information that helped hunt them down. They plied their trade. For the women he'd lain with and left with no explanation, because he needed to, because it was all the comfort he could expect. They seared his soul. Even for the extra fries and the one too many greasy burgers-because it made them laugh that such a thing as hunger could be a sin. And then when there was no stain left to justify their torment they tortured him just to hear his screams.

Their greed to cause him agony and revel in his pain would be the road to their undoing.

#

For what seemed to be the millionth time Dean thought, "How long have I been here?"

He'd lost track if the days.

He knew once, when he first arrived.

When he still hoped for rescue, he'd counted the days then.

But now?

When did he stop hoping? He couldn't even remember that.

He forgave Sam.

Forgave him a long time ago.

Sam, he knew, would be hurting inside; tortured by his own demons of guilt.

He knew Sammy tried, he knew he did his best. And he was so proud of how his little brother had stood up to every evil sonofabitch and fought, scared shitless some of the time but never, never gave anything less than his all. And always tried to do what's right.

He felt his face tighten-_what is that? Oh, I remember…-a smile_.

Then sadness set in, his lip trembled. _' god I miss him!_'

The worry soon followed; it always did when he thought of Sam.

How long could his little brother grieve for him before time mended his heart?

Before Sam gave up too… and moved on with his life. Dean hoped he would….

-Sooner rather than later. He forgave Sam.

He forgave Bobby too.

He'd put so much faith in the older man's knowledge of all things arcane that he'd counted on him as much if not more than his brother to find a way to get him outta here.

And he was angry when he hadn't.

Blamed him even.

But that wasn't right. He knew that now.

Bobby had been there for as long as Dean could remember. Always been gruff and crusty on the outside but Dean hadn't missed the glints of amusement that flickered in the man's eyes when even his own Dad couldn't see the humor in a situation.

"_Always playing good cop to his Dad's bad cop and they'd both rode hard on us to keep us on the straight and narrow-_to keep us safe."

He remembered countless times Bobby would drop everything and just show up whenever he or Sam placed a call to him, day or night, 24/7. His Dad hadn't been there for them like that; not like Bobby.

No, he'd always felt comfort in the older mans growl even when he was yelling and Dean could almost hear the gravely tones now as he thought once more of Bobby's voice.

Bobby's voice blending with Sam's as they chanted an exorcism, Dean could almost say the Latin along with them. What were the words again? They were almost on the tip of his memory: Domimae sanctum …..exhultatum…? Reusurectum? No, that's not right…what are they saying…I can hear their voices so clearly…just can't make… out the…words……

Suddenly his mind reeled and went blank. The light woke him, so bright that even with closed eyes he knew it was brighter than he'd seen in a long time and with a sudden gasp he fluttered his eyes open and he was awake.

His lungs hurt to breathe. His body felt heavy and cold. He coughed, mouth so dry. Every thing was blurry and he could feel hands under his head gently propping it up and the edge of a glass or cup pressed against his lips. Confused he thought_,was this a trick? These weren't the scaly hands he'd come to know, the demons had never been gentle, never offered him drink._ Even so he clamped his lips tight against the pressure of the rim, _might be poison, might burn horribly down his throat._

Then a voice was right next to him, just above him, he could feel the puff of breath against his face as it spoke, "Dean, Dean you gotta drink man, just take a sip it's just water." And it keened, " God, Dean!" He felt the hand holding his head begin to shake, "Goooodddd your back! I gotcha, it's gonna be ok, just sip for me bro, just let it moisten your lips ok?" And then he felt the first teardrop splash on his cheek, and another on his nose, _who would sob for me? _

"Oh, maaaannn!"…The voice quavered in his ear. And then he felt the soft caress of hair across his cheek and the pressure of lips on his forehead, lips moistened with tears and he knew. He knew that scent it smelled like home and he knew that voice, "Sammy?" He didn't even recognize his own voice as it came out a dry croak, just above a whisper.

He tried to reach up to touch the blurry face hovering so close but his arms didn't work right and he nearly knocked the glass away.

"Lets git him propped up so he can drink proper" Said another voice nearby and he felt pairs of hands gently move his stiff, awkward body up to rest his back against a something soft and solid. "There that's better, his air passage will be open more, less choking" Said the older one. "Dean…. son…" The man's voice hitched and he suddenly had the sensation of large calloused hands holding each side of his face, "You made it this far, now I need cha to take a sip for your brother…can ya do that for me boy?" Dean blinked his eyes and squinted at the familiar grizzled face of Bobby.

That's when his own face crumbled, " kay", he said in a horse whisper. And now his own tears began to fall.

_He was back! They got him out and he was back!_

Bobby sat on the opposite edge of the bed and grabbed up Dean's hand ever so gently. "S'good to have ya back son…mighty good to have ya back" Bobby reached over with his other hand and Dean felt it squeeze his shoulder gently too. No sharp pain jolted through him where the hook had had pierced his flesh. Just Bobby's warm calloused hand on his oh so cold bare shoulder.

"_I'm back, they're ok….we're ok."_ It was hard to keep his eyes open, even though the two people he wanted to see most in the world were right before him Dean felt his eyes close and his head slump, his neck suddenly too weak to hold it up and his chin thumped onto his chest. Sam put the glass of water down and stuffed another pillow behind his brother's neck then carefully eased Dean head back. He took a warmed wet cloth Bobby offered him and patted his brother's face with it.

Dean roused at the comfort of the touch; the warmth igniting sensation in his face and his lashes slowly bobbed open. He had so many pressing questions. "How'd you….how… long?"

Sam bit his lower lip; he was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt, and stopped moving the cloth on Dean's face. Dean squinted up at him trying to read the expression and that's when Sam cast his eyes down. "Dean, I'm so…so sorry." His voice sounded horse with emotion. "I tried everything I could…. we just kept running into walls" and Sam looked to Bobby with eyes beginning to tear. Bobby reached across Dean and put his hand on Sam's shoulder and said, "Your brother nearly went crazy with lack of sleep, I just about joined him till we run across this old text and it took us months to prepare the ritual."

Dean looked shocked and said, "Months?"

Sam choked the words out through trembling lips, "It's been seven months, man." And that's when Sam lost the fight to hold back his tears. "I'm… so…. Sorry!" He dropped to the side of the bed clutching Dean's hand.

Dean couldn't stand it, his little brother contorted with body wracking guilt so he instinctively reached out to comfort him and that's when Sam got up and wrapped his arms around Dean and just held on. Dean felt the trembling of Sam's huge frame through the arms that encircled him and heard the choked back sobs pressed against his ear. He felt so helpless just lying there unable to move, his brain still foggy but this was Sam pressed against him and he was hurt and he needed him real bad right now so Dean did what he always did he reached deep into himself and found the strength to make his arms return the hug- just barely.

Instantly he felt Sam's breathing become calmer. "It's ok Sammy…you're allowed." He said as he gently patted his little brother's giant frame and felt the relief flood into Sam when he heard his huge sigh.

They were quiet for a while, content in just comforting each other. Finally Sam pulled back, wiped the back of his hand across his eyes, cleared his throat and continued to answer Dean's question. "Neither of us knew how long it would take." He said indicating the older hunter now standing on the other side of Dean's bed.

Bobby gently sat down again and explained, "I sorta knew this woman who worked in Cryogenics through a job I did for her brother. I called in a favor. And there's this surgeon who's a friend to the Hunting community, he's the one we turn to when a lot of surgery has to be done but where there'd be too many questions in a regular hospital. He prepped you, got you all patched up so she could, well…uh..keep you on ice until we were ready."

Dean blinked a few more times as he tried to process what Bobby meant by "on ice."

"You mean I was frozen?"

Bobby flicked a quick glance to Sam because neither of them wanted to give Dean more of the gruesome details than they had to especially not knowing what condition his mind might be in.

Sam especially wanted this to go slower, let his brother get some rest; then as he asked they'd give him bits and pieces of the events. But Dean wanted to know now. So Sam answered, "Yeah, it was the safest, tried and true method to…uh…buy us time and still keep your…keep uh… you safe."

"Huh," Dean tilted his head to one side considering the thought; "s'cool just like Walt Disney" Then he nodded his appreciation.

Sam laughed out loud then even with the traces of tears still on his face. Dean never ceased to amaze him by summing up the impossible with a Pop culture reference. "Yeah…. just like Disney."

Dean was blown away by how many people had been in on this, strangers willing to loose their licenses, their jobs on the wild chance that he might, MIGHT, be brought back.

"Thanks for not giving up on me" he said to Bobby. The older hunter's lips pressed tight and he turned away for a moment as he cleared his throat several times. When he looked back at Dean there was fierceness in his eyes that Dean had only seen once before, when he'd told the man about the Deal the first time. "Boy, doncha know you're like a son to me? I barely had all I could do to keep it together and to keep your brother together so we could git this done." As Bobby's face fought to maintain control over the emotion between smile and grief his face finally settled on mock anger, "And if you EVER do a fool headed thing like this again I swear I'll kick your ass all the way to purgatory myself, do I make my self clear… ya idjit?"

Dean sat straighter under his old friends glare and replied, "Yessir"

"Now, drink some water for your brother!"

The first sip was sputtered back; Dean couldn't make his throat swallow. "Sorry, Sam I think I forgot how."

"S'ok, Dean" Sam said as he wiped his brothers chin. "Doc said it might take a while for your muscles to "remember" how to do so some of the small stuff. We'll just take it slow is all." Try again, just a sip"

And with concentrated effort Dean managed the smallest drop. The swallowing sensation felt alien but the cool moisture blessed his throat all the way down. He wondered about how many other 'simple' things his body was going to have to relearn…but pushed that thought aside.

"So Bobby, this ritual…you didn't have to kill anything for it did you?" Dean softly asked with a look of dread about the answer.

"Nah, but the ingredients were hard to come by, some of 'em I thought were extinct and the timing had to be just right, special phase of the moon and all. We started yesterday and…(eeeyawwn)" Bobby yawned mid sentence, "well, kept on through tonight."

Sam read the fatigue on the older hunter's face; he felt it too, but Bobby looked like he was wiped out.

Sam said, "Bobby I'd like to take the first watch, if you don't mind, why don't you get some rest and then spot me in five hours or so?"

Bobby, smirked at the youngest Winchester, he knew full well when he was being eased out but these boys needed time to reintroduce themselves with each other and now was as good a time as any. "Your right Sam, I'm beat," and he gave Dean's leg a gentle slap on top of the covers as he stood up from the bed saying to him, "don't let him keep you up too long you need your rest too ya know."

Bobby walked over to Sam and gave him a couple of pats on the shoulder and said, "Five hours, make sure you wake me you need _your_ rest too."

"Kay Bobby," Sam smiled sleepily back and added, "Thanks man".

"I'll make sure he does." Dean smiled weakly.

And Bobby huffed his reply as he shook his head and turned toward his room.

Sam turned back to Dean and looked into his brother's eyes, eyes that now returned his gaze and sparkled with life once more. He couldn't help but reach out and cup his brother's cheek with his giant hand. "Man, it is so good to have you back!"

That sparkle turned to a smirk and Dean hoarsely whispered, "You're not fixin to give me a kiss again are you?"

Sam pulled his hand away, "Shut up…jerk."

"Hey, at least you could buy me dinner first" Dean teased.

Sam raised his eyebrows and said, "Do you think you could handle some beef bullion?"

Dean couldn't even tell right now if he was hungry but said, "'Spose it's the closest thing to a burger you've got huh?"

"Do you really think you can take on solid food right now?" Sam asked.

Dean thought a moment. "No, but the whole clear broth thing is weak Sam".

"You're weak, your whole body is just waking up Dean, the systems haven't been used in a while and we don't want to tax them until you're up to full speed."

Dean made a small face and said, "Can I at least have a piece of toast too?"

"How 'bout a few crackers?"

Dean's voice sounded a little defeated but he said, "Alright nurse Ratchet"

While Sam was in the kitchen Dean stared at the ceiling and thought _I wonder how long it will take _and decided to assess what he could do. _I wonder if I can sit up, maybe try to walk._

That's when he realized he was naked under the layers of blankets.

_OOO-Kay… well lets just try and move the legs _and Dean's first attempt failed. It was like there was a disconnect from his head to his legs. _Right, too much too soon, lets just see if I can wiggle M' toes._ For a minute no response for either foot then the right and then the left big toe jerked. Dean let out a pent up sigh; it was loud enough for Sam to hear from the kitchen and he came running in to see what happened.

"Dean –you all right?" he asked in panic.

"M'fine Sam I was just trying to move my legs and they don't work so good yet, but I can wiggle my toes so that's gotta be good.

"Were you trying to get outta bed?"

"What! No, well, yes I just wanted to move. I haven't been able to move around for so long I just wanted to stand, feel what it was like again." Dean's voice ended in a whisper.

Sam saw the haunted look that appeared on his brother's face for a moment… and then it was gone. He didn't want to think about which memory of Hell had just caused it. But it pinched his heart.

"Well don't. You need to get up you call me over and we'll get you up but don't try anything yourself for a while." Sam softly scolded.

"OK, ok" Dean conceded. And to Sam's back Dean mumbled, " its not like I'd go far anyway…Bitch."

"I heard that…Jerk" Sam said from the kitchen. And Dean could hear the smile in his brother's voice even as he said it.

_Ok, I can't move the legs yet but I can move m'arms… a little_. Dean continued with his mobility inventory. He tried to open and close his hands. He could do that if he moved slow and concentrated. _Can I make a fist? _He tried but found the strength just wasn't there yet for a tight clench_. OK, not yet, things seem to be coming online at different times._ Then he had a frightened thought, _how bad were the scars that the Doc left, when he did his 'patch job'. _It took all Dean's effort to maneuver his unresponsive hands to grip the blankets and for his weak arms to lift them up for him to see.

Just then Sam walked in with the soup and wasn't prepared for the sight that met his eyes.

"Uh, Dean did you have an accident?" he nervously asked.

"NO Sam, I'm checkin for freezer burn," Dean snapped and then his voice softened, "No, I just wanted to see the damage left and I gotta tell you that Doc is a freaking artist! There's hardly any scar left at all!" He looked up at Sam with that radiant smile.

Sam stood holding the tray his mind reeling with the memory of that night.

Oh, there had been damage.

The Hound had shredded Dean's chest and broken through the rib cage. Just about every organ in his torso had been lacerated and his brother had died of massive blood loss in his arms. When they got the body to the Doc they had been told he could put everything back together and that Dean would look whole but the damage was so great the Doc couldn't guarantee anything would ever work right again. They'd said just do it, figuring first things first, make the body whole, keep it intact and let the magic sort out the rest once the soul was back in place. But the Doc warned them that with the extensive needlework that had been done Dean would be scared for life, if he ever had life again.

So Sam couldn't understand Dean's cheerfulness over what Sam knew to be ugly, scar marred flesh. Until Dean discretely pulled the blankets down and what Sam saw nearly made him drop the tray.

His brother's chest was pink and perfect; his abdomen had only the finest tracery of light scars upon it.

Sam felt the blood rush from his face and without taking his eyes off Dean's displayed stomach said shakily, "Ye-ah, the Doc does… Good. Work."

"You're right there!" Dean enthused, "I don't think the ladies will mind the new additions to the collection at all, Huh? Now are you gonna give me the soup. Or am I supposed to just smell it from here to get nourishment- I think I could eat."

"Sure Dean," Sam said setting the tray on the nightstand. "Why don't I hold it for you and let you sip?"

"Yeah, you're probably right, be a shame to spoil the Docs hard work with a third degree burn."

So they sat, Sam on the edge of the bed holding the mug up to Dean's lips and Dean taking the first tentative sips of food his body had had in months. After awhile the swallowing reflex became smoother and Dean was able to wash down a few crackers too.

As his throat became bathed in warm broth and the brothers talked of friends past and present Dean's voice began to come back to its familiar low velvet . He'd finished about ¾ of the mug when he said he was thirsty for water. And that was just the break Sam was waiting for.

Sam noted that the demon trap tattoo was still intact on his brother's chest but even so after the seven months Dean's soul spent in Hell he knew he had to test his brother for any lingering demonic influences. Especially in the light of Dean's recovery, which was happening way too fast to be normal.

The Doc had outlined a recovery rate much slower than this, some areas months, some areas years if ever and Dean's body movements, his eye focus, and the healing of his scars were way off the scale.

So Sam slipped a shot of holy water into the glass of water he brought to his brother. When he returned from the kitchen Sam sat back down on the bed beside Dean and raised the glass up to his brother's trusting, waiting lips. Could he go through this? If anything still clung to his brother from the Pit one sip would cause Dean's lips to burn. Could he hold the glass while his brother was harmed by the contents?

And then he realized that is just what Dean would want him to do.

"Sam?" Dean asked, "Could you bring the rim a little closer to m'lips?"

"Uh, Yeah, sorry man" Sam held the cup still and braced for Dean's screams.

Dean took a sip and made a face, "huh, tastes sweet" he looked up to Sam quizzically. "You feeding me some fancy assed designer water Sam 'cause we can't afford it, just plain tap water'd be fine".

Sam was taken by surprise by the reaction. _'Sweet?' Since when had any anything evil said Holy water tasted sweet? A human can't taste the difference from plain H2O. Whatever was wrong with his brother the clue was in the Holy water tasting sweet. _His mind raced through the long, long list of supernatural creatures they'd encountered and he could not think of any that would think Holy water was sweet.

"Just fresh from the tap, maybe Bobby's got spring water or somthin." Sam stalled. And he made note to call Missouri to come over and do a reading on his brother first thing to see if she could pick up on anything.

"It's not bad just sweeter than I expected is all," Dean answered, "give me another sip wouldja?"

Sam pressed the rim against his brother's lips and watched as Dean sipped. Dean had his eyes closed as he swallowed and Sam noted that his brother's thick lashes looked even darker against the paleness of his skin. Skin so pale that even the fine smattering of light freckles stood out more than Sam remembered. And then it happened Dean's skin seemed to develop a shine almost a glow and Sam watched in mystified horror as light began to emanate from his brother.

Sam jumped pulling the glass away from his brother's lips and Dean's eyes flew open at the sudden movement. What he saw was a look of fear on Sam's face. He watched as Sam slowly stood up from the bed and took a step back. Dean noted the shadows in the room were all wrong, it was like there was this way too bright lamp on and everything was cast in stark detail especially the scared look on Sam's face. But where was the light coming from?

Dean looked to the left and then to the right then something bright on the bed caught his eye –it was his arms-they were glowing! He brought his hands up to his face and all around his flesh was this radiant light. His eyes flew open in fear and he looked up to Sam's frightened face and his brother slowly nodded 'it's you!' back at him.

"SAM?!" Yelled Dean holding his arms out in front of himself. "What's happening!?"

"I don't know," Sam yelled back. "It started after you drank the Holy water."

Dean scowled at his brother, "You spiked my drink with Holy water and you didn't tell me?"

"Dean, I had to be sure," Sam ran his hand nervously through his long locks, "you'd been gone for seven months and you're recovery rate is through the roof, I mean your healing right in front of my eyes!"

Dean looked back at his glowing arms and hands and up at his spooked brother and felt his shoulders slump. "You did the right thing Sam."

"Dean.."

"No, Sammy you did the right thing, I'da done the same. I mean look at me I look like a freakin' 'Light Brite' peg for God's sake. No you did good." And Dean lowered his hands back into his lap.

Sam moved closer to the bed, concern-replacing fear on his face. "How does it… feel?"

"Well, it doesn't burn, thank goodness, in fact there's really no sensation at all." Dean looked up to meet Sam's eyes knowing his own were full of questions. "D'ya suppose it was the Holy water that did this?"

Sam sat back down on the bed beside his brother and said helplessly, "Gee, I don't know, we're in totally uncharted territory here. I don't now what to expect."

"Hellava bedside manner Doc," Dean huffed and shook his head.

Sam asked, "So what do we do?"

Dean smirked bitterly and snarked, "Well, we could probably turn off some of the lights in this room while we wait…hey, do ya suppose this is where the saying. " He lit up the room with his smile got started?" and Dean grinned at his brother.

"Jerk" said Sam.

"Better wake Bobby and let him see this maybe he's read something about…some phenomena that causes people to become human glow sticks."

"Right." And Sam hurried to wake Bobby.

Bobby was still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as Sam recounted the events that led up to Dean's…complication. But he stopped in his tracks when he saw the boy. "Good Lord!"

"You can just call me Dean," Said the bed-ridden Winchester.

Sam rolled his eyes.

Bobby just scowled. "Are you hurtin?"

"No, doesn't feel like anything different I'm… just…glowing!"

Bobby walked over to the bed and made to pull the covers down when Dean grabbed his hand. Bobby's growl was all business as he said, "Don't go all shy on me now boy, I need to see how extensive this thing is." It was tough for him to see the look of fear and defiance on the young man's face as Dean stayed his hand. But it was worse to see Dean drop his eyes in defeat as he let go.

"Don't worry princess I'll be gentle" Bobby teased.

"Bite me" Dean said softly back.

Bobby eased the covers back and inwardly gasped when he saw the virtually healed skin of Dean's chest and abdomen. He glanced up at Sam and Sam nodded once that he'd already seen. As Bobby continued uncovering the man it was apparent that every square inch of him was bathed in a soft light that seemed to come from within.

Bobby eased the blankets back up like a man with way too much on his mind and silently began to tuck Dean in again. When he was done he stood beside the bed holding his wrist, the one Dean had grabbed moments before. It felt warmer than normal and the arthritic pain that had plagued him for years as a hunter was gone.

Never breaking the eye contact he held with Dean he spoke to his bother, "Sam, get Missouri on the line I think we need to have her expertise on this."

And Sam glanced at his brother and to Bobby and left the room to make the call.

Dean pulled the blankets up higher as a slow blush began to put color in his cheeks. "You're not 'flashing' me at Missouri, man!"

Bobby eased himself back on to the edge of the bed and in a much softer voice said, "No, she's not comin' out here to see your out side son, she's gonna be too busy seein what's go'in on with your inside" And he gently tapped Dean on the forehead and on the chest.

Dean swallowed a couple of times and eased his grip on the covers. And Bobby continued.

"Now, from what I can tell there ain't a lot of bad omens showin' here. But you're healin' up real fast and…" Bobby gestured with a wave of his hands, "this ain't normal"

"Right not like: 'died', in Hell for seven months, and been raised from the dead normal." Dean groused.

Bobby sighed and put his hand on the top of the covers of Dean's leg. "We're just coverin' all our bases here."

Sam brought in a chair from the kitchen and sat beside Dean's bed as Bobby addressed both of them. "I don't think we're lookin' at anything evil here." He was absent-mindedly rubbing the wrist Dean had touched.

The gesture was no lost on Dean and who said, "I didn't hurt you when I grabbed you did I, 'cause I didn't mean to Bobby."

Bobby smiled at him and said, "Naw, You're too weak right now to put a dent in this ol'hide, fact is my wrist never felt better. Sam gimme three hours more shut eye ok then come git me so I can take the next watch. And try not to over excite your brother."

Sam looked at Bobby helplessly and said, "Sure, see you in three" And Bobby headed back to his room a little slower and more pensive than last time.

Sam looked at Dean and said, " Uh, be good to see Missouri again."

"I dunno, I don't think she took to me so much."

"What the coffee table thing?"

"Yeah, and the clean up this and fetch that thing. It was like she was always ridin hard on me on purpose. Like you were always her favorite."

"Well, she did call me her shining Star."

Yeah, well, at least now you won't be the only 'bright' Winchester in the family…Bitch."

"Jerk."

#

Missouri arrived fore noon the next day and per arrangement she'd brought back up.

His name was Father Michelson but everyone at the mission called him Father Mick. He had investigated miracles for the church but had since been re- assigned to work with the most troubled of the street community in Lawrence, Kansas. At the Mission he'd met Missouri who'd been a long time staff member and because of his 'discreet' nature Missouri had 'acquainted' him with other Hunters.

While he'd be the first to admit his Vatican training had never fully prepared him for the kind of troubles those Hunters sought answers for; the results of their team work had him firmly convinced that a higher power had made him available to them. And that the timing was preordaned so that they could work together during the plague of evil that had befallen the world of late.

On the plane Missouri had filled him in on background information about the boys, the events surrounding their Mother's death, her own knowledge of their late father and Dean's recent decent and return from Hell. The Father couldn't help but feel a little bit excited and a little bit scared at what he was about to walk into as they climbed the porch steps to Bobby's place.

Missouri pressed the buzzer and a few moments later a tired looking middle-aged man with a grizzled beard and sporting an old baseball cap swung the door open.

"Missouri?" The man took his cap off and extended his hand in greeting, "It's good to finally meet you face to face."

She smiled and held on to his hand a few minutes longer looking (he thought) right through him.

"You're a good, good man Bobby Singer," She said with confidence and a smile in her voice. She turned to the man beside her and introduced them "This here is the Father that I spoke of. Father Michelson meet Bobby Singer."

The priest held out his hand and said, "You can call me Father Mick Mr. Singer."

"Bobby'd be just fine Father Mick," the older hunter replied. "Come on in, Sam and Dean are in the back bedroom. Dean's just beginning move about with some help, hasn't taken solid food yet though, but he's been asking for it."

"That boy'd eat you out of house and home if you'd let him" Missouri added. "But he'd always wait until Sam had his fill before he'd tuck in. Been carin' for his little brother all his life like that." She informed the priest.

They came into the living room where Sam was helping his big brother get around. They were struck by the sight. A tall, strong looking man supporting a shorter, solid looking man with decidedly pale almost iridescent skin. Each step the shorter one took a lesson in concentration and each step the taller one took a testimony to the patience and love he had for the man that leaned on him.

Bobby cleared his throat and the two men stopped in their tracks and looked toward him. The shorter man tried to stand a little straighter and the taller man adjusted his hold to let him.

"Missouri!" they both said in unison.

"Now, now don't stand on my account" she fussed at them, "Dean you let your brother find a comfortable chair for you, that is if you are able to sit awhile."

"Yes, Ma'me." Dean said and shot Sam a look.

Sam was beginning to grin but the 'look' made him change it to a small smile and he helped Dean over to Bobby's sittin' chair. Bobby had gone into the kitchen and brought out chairs for he and Sam to sit on while directing Father Mick and Missouri to the couch.

You could tell Dean was on edge by the way he tried to sit up straighter and by the way his eyes kept darting between Missouri and the man with her.

"Dean this here is Father Mick he's here to back up my reading on you today."

Dean smiled and nodded at the clergyman, "Padre." But however civil they were going to play it Dean felt like some kind of freak being on display like this. He understood why they had to test him for 'soundness' as he put it but he'd always been a private person and this scrutiny he was going to endure was not making him happy in the least. _Brave face time, put it on tight, _and then he had a thought that shook him even more,_ maybe just this once if there was any potential that he was a danger to Sammy he should just…be himself. Ha! That would be a first._

Missouri approached him and he looked up warily. Then he sighed, he had to know and all the brave face strength drained out of him. "Missouri, tell me what you see, I need to know if there's anything…anything not right, anyway I could be a danger…"

Sam interrupted, "Dean No, stop it…just… you've been through..Uh, more than anyone one I know… for _me_ man. You're ok…" his voice starting to crack.

Missouri put her hands on either side of Dean's upturned face and closed her eyes. She began to hum a tuneless drone to concentrate. And Dean didn't take his worried eyes off her face silently waiting for her verdict. As he listened to the tune she hummed he felt his lids become heavy and soon they closed; that was when the pallor in his skin began to fill with the faintest sheen of light.

Father Mick was standing slightly behind her and he blinked a few times to make sure he was seeing this. Then he slowly moved around the seated man and the medium.

Although Dean's light show was not as spectacular as it was the night before there was no mistaking that the phenomena was still present.

"Dean?" Missouri intoned. "I need you to be strong for me boy, 'cause what I'm about to ask is going to be very hard for you. I need you to show me where you were two nights ago; can you do that for me? It's real important. Now, feel my hands on your face, I got you and I'm not letting go. Let your minds eye see the place you were Dean, show me what you see."

Sam turned to Bobby in panic. "She's not!? You can't let her do that, we just got him back! Bobby, what if he can't handle it? It's too soon!"

Bobby looked from Sam to the tableau before him of Missouri regressing Dean and the circling Priest. But the Father held up a hand to ease them then nodded to Missouri and Dean.

The older hunter sighed deeply and said, "Sam you gotta trust that they won't let any harm come to him."

"But how do they KNOW Bobby? How many men have come back from Hell and been sent right back the next day and lived to tell about it?!" Sam's voice rose as he began to stand and stop this thing that, as far as he could tell, would permanently scar Dean for life.

But he froze as the first scream began.

It came from Missouri and not Dean. She stood there her body beginning to writhe and she screamed over and over again. "SAM!! SAMMMMMYYYYY!! NOOoooooooooo, gahhhhhhhhh!!

Her voice changed again and it was not human.

"Wellllll, no more sin to burn away, we had a bet going that it would have taken millenia not months to purge your soul of all our best work. What are you made of Teflon? Sin doesn't cling easy to your hide does it? But no matter we've got all the time left in eternity. So we'll just have to get…creative. What'dyah say Dean shall we take it from the top and just start over?

Her voice went back to her own as Dean's screams, "SAAAAMMMMYYY!! AAGGHHhhhggg!"

And then became inhuman again, " Thataboy, you're in good voice today!"

And with his eyes still closed Dean spoke for the first time since the trance was upon him, "I forgive you Sam, god I miss you! I forgive you Bobby; you've always been there for me. For me and Sam. Can almost hear your voice, Latin…can't make the words out…Dominea..Resurectum…." and suddenly Dean sucked in a huge breath, his eyes opened wide with fear and he glanced about the room wildly.

Missouri slumped away from him and Father Mick caught her before she slipped to the floor. It was over the reading was complete.

#

Father Mick was handing the cup of strong tea to Missouri who sat on the couch still shaky from the experience of walking around inside Dean's memories of the past two days.

She took a long sip, swallowed and looked over at the older Winchester who looked small sitting all wrapped up in a quilt his brother had provided. Sam stood protectively by his side his hand wresting on Dean's shoulder.

Father Mick asked her, "Missouri what were your impressions?"

"Father, that boy's been someplace. Someplace built of the stuff of nightmares."

And she leveled her gaze upon Dean. "Boy, what you went through; the pain, alllll the torment, it was not for nothin'. Because your soul's clean now. Shiny as a new penny. And I suspect the way you were brought back..." and she glared at Bobby (who Dean swore he saw flinch) To Father Mack she said "Well, 'Born again' doesn't _even_ begin to cover it! They side stepped original sin to boot!" The Father raised his eyebrows and looked appraisingly at Dean.

She looked back at Dean and spoke softly now with unmistakable reverence in her voice, "Child, that soul of yours, there is not a mar nor patch of sin upon it!" And she fanned herself and took another big sip of that strong tea.

Dean looked confused, "So, I'm not tainted, not gonna turn evil?"

"Missouri laughed as if he's told a joke, "Evil? Son, I bet you could bless water if you had a mind to!"

Dean's face registered his perplexion and he looked up to Sam, "What does that mean?"

Sam and Bobby asked her at the same time, "He's without Sin?"

And Father Mick interjected, "From what Missouri perceived he may be in an elevated state of grace. Blank stares answered him back, "due to the removal of his past life's sin and his being' born' through, uh, a resurrection of sorts instead of the natural birth process. So yes theoretically he could probably bless water."

Three men silently exchanged glances.

"Dean I have one test I'd like you to perform for me and then we can be sure if you have any lingering side effects from your…unusual status."

The priest drew out a small silver tube with ornate designs and a screw off cap and tapped some yellow powder on to the coffee table. He asked Bobby to get two glasses of tap water.

"Dean I want you to stir your finger in one of the glasses."

Dean shrugged and dipped his finger into the glass Bobby put toward him and swirled it around.

Explaining that the powder was sulfur from a recent known demonic occurrence. Father Mick asked Bobby to sprinkle some of the water from the glass that Dean did not touch onto the powder.

Nothing happened.

"Now, Bobby could you sprinkle the sulfur with the water 'blessed' by Dean?"

As soon as the first drop hit the powder a Hiss and smoke began to rise. The water that Dean touched had turned to Holy Water.

All eyes focused on the smoke from the disappearing sulfur. And when Dean looked up he found four people staring at him like they'd never seen him before in their lives.

It was awful, if he could have jumped up and run away he would have. Even Bobby, even….SAM… looked at him different. And he felt hot tears sting his eyes_. He hadn't asked for this! This alien reaction from the people he loved. He just wanted to be home, to get better. Not this, this was too big after…after what he'd been through. This was a spiritual torture of another kind, because the weight of responsibility was crushing him and he wasn't strong enough yet, he couldn't even on his best day be strong enough for this._

Sam moved to closer to the chair when he saw Dean's first tear well up and fall. He put his arm across Dean's shoulder and said softly to their guests, "It's been a long day and I think …you should go now."

Bobby took the hint, the Winchesters had closed ranks and the show was over.

And stood up as he began to usher their visitors out, "Uh, Father, Missouri I'm sure you want to get back to the motel and rest, uh, we'll talk tomorrow if it's all right."

With barely suppressed excitement in his voice Father Mick shook Bobby's hand, "Of course you all need your rest, Thank you so much for allowing us to enter your home during this trying time. We can go over any questions you might have tomorrow."

Then he stepped up to Dean and knelt down putting his hands gently on the tired mans knees. "Just know this, Dean, you've gained, in the hardest way imaginable, a very, very precious gift and you must be on constant guard to preserve it. One misstep, one fall- if you let sin into your life again in any form your state of grace will be over and the powerful weapon against evil you've been given for the war we are all fighting will be lost. As hard as it is to bear, it _is_ a gift, a very precious gift." Then the priest stood up and nodded to Missouri.

The words the Father had said to him made his head swim he didn't feel any different; weak, tired but that was to be expected but he certainly didn't feel Holy! _What is that supposed to feel like anyway? _

When Missouri came over to say goodnight he looked up at herand she had the most heartbreaking sadness in her eyes- for him! It wasn't just pity it was the sorrow for what he went through, and damn it, for what he was going to have to face yet. _She knew, he could see it in her eyes._

She reached out and gently caressed his cheek like his mom had when he was hurt or scared, "Now, child I know this is all hard for you to take in. You need time to let your body heal, to get used to be' in back in this world. But _I know_ how strong you are, and I know the Good Lord wouldn't trust this to anyone He didn't already know could handle it. You keep your faith. You keep the love you have in your heart strong, it's what seen you this far an' I 'suspect it's gonna carry you through." She cupped his face in her hands and gave him a soft kiss on his forehead. Then she turned to go with Father Mick.

Sam and he watched them leave.

Then Dean shook his head. "That was Bullshit Sam," he growled.

Sam spun his head around at the anger he heard in his brother's voice. Dean was almost shaking with suppressed rage.

"I dunno Dean the water did turn blessed." He tried but failed to sound convincing.

"I dunno 'bout that either. But all that talk of sin. What exactly was that about, HUH?" Said Dean exasperatedly.

Bobby walked in then and added his two cents, "It means you stay away from temptation boy."

Sam and Dean looked at each other.

Dean rolled his eyes, "Yeah, like that's gonna work. I'm not a freakin' Monk prayin in some cloistered monastery. I live and work on the streets. I kill things, I work hard and I play hard. Ok, maybe I have a few indulgences but I earned 'em!

Sam hadn't even processed it that far. But Dean was three steps ahead of them and he was scared, scared that he couldn't live up to what was being asked of him. He could see the panic behind the anger, the fear behind the rage in Dean's voice. _Hadn't his brother already paid enough from what he'd gone through, couldn't he just let this cup pass by, why was it always Dean that had to sacrifice?_

Sam said, "No ones asking you to live in a monastery…."

"Oh yeah right, well next time we go into a bar and a cute waitress shows interest…oh right, we won't be going into any bars from now on." And Dean glared at the two of them.

Bobby threw up his hands, "Look at you, you can barely get to the bathroom without help and you're already worried about turning down some…"

"Whore, skank, loose woman!!" Dean supplied.

"Dude, some of them were probably nice girls before they met you." Sam said fighting to keep his face straight.

"Cha, this would be a piece of cake for you celibacy boy but I've never pretended to be anything but 100…"

"Horn dog- we know." Sam said crossing his arms.

Dean gave him the death look then his demeanor changed, like the wind had all gone out of his sails and he sat there looking so much younger and lost.

"S'not fair", he said softly, "I just got _back_ from Hell."

Please review


	2. Chapter 2

Chapt

Chapt.2 Without Sin

I hadn't originally intended to make this a multi-chapter fic. It was going to be a one shot and I was stickin' to my guns on that point, I've got two other multifics waiting to be finished and I was not, absolutely not, going to start a third. But then came the reviews, and there were readers out here that really liked this and asked if I could please…please expand on it. Well, I'm a craven sucker for praise so I thought about it; and then I had this dream. It was all laid out like a film in fast forward and I can barely remember all the important parts but it resolved the whole story line of the show! So how could I say no to that?

As usual: I don't own 'em, just love 'em and wished ta 'ell I worked for Kripke.

The next day Dean balked at talking to Father Mick again.

"What's the point Bobby? Dean demanded as he sat at the kitchen table, his back rigid in defiance. Sam sat opposite his brother and sighed…again. They'd been at it for what seemed like hours. His brother and Bobby going over the same stuff again and again. And Dean wouldn't listen. Sam suddenly became aware of what it must have been like for Dean when he watched the yelling matches between his father and him. Helpless, torn and frustrated that the two people he loved most in this world were at odds with each other.

"The point _IS _ that you're in a whole new ball game now and you better learn the new rules!" Bobby said hotly. ('Course even in his normal growl of a voice Bobby sounded like he was fixin' to fight.)

"Well, from what I can see about THE rules it means that I'm not in the game at ALL! I mean how much help can I be just sitting around stirrin' my finger in the tub making batch after batch of Holy water, Huh?" Dean yelled back.

But there was a look of pleading for an answer from Dean's wide eyes betrayed the fear he felt.

Bobby saw that very rare expression on Dean's face and spoke more softly to the man in the chair before him, "Look, all I'm sayin' is that we go over there and find out what the strengths and limitations of this… …this…'grace' for lack of a better word are. You know from what your Daddy and I taught you that the first thing you gotta do is familiarize yourself with all the weaponry, become proficient with each tool you need for the hunt. And you gotta admit this is a tool we can use to fight back. But you're not familiar with it; you don't know a thing about its strengths or weaknesses. And that lack of knowledge could get you killed.

Dean sighed and his shoulders slumped a little as he looked down at the floor. He was considering it.

Sam jumped in then. "What if, it turns out you can do more? Wouldn't it be worth listening to him just to find out how to keep this trait going long enough to find out you can do more?"

Dean looked up at his bothers worried face. Sam's eyes were all big and dewy and just beggin' to be given half the chance to be listened to. Then Dean glanced at Bobby standing with his arms crossed over his barrel of a chest. Dean knew that 'you know I'm right boy' stance all too well.

He gave out a deep sigh. "Alright, I suppose it wouldn't hurt just to get more Intel on this" he said as he put his elbows up on the table and rested his weary forehead in his hands.

Bobby grabbed up the skillet and broke the tension by asking, "So do you want me to make animal shapes for your pancakes?"

Sam sniggered and the air was suddenly much lighter in Bobby's kitchen.

"Bite me, both of ya" Dean said to the table.

Bobby looked to Sam and said, "I'll take his ass 'cause I've tenderized it enough over the years with my boot" and he turned to make the griddlecakes.

"What, so that means I get sloppy seconds?" Sam asked in mock anger.

"Just a freaking riot you two!" Dean growled and looked up to see both smiles. He shook his head his own smirk forming, God, he was glad he was back!

wWwWw

Sam drove them over to the motel where Missouri and Father Mick were. Dean sat at his side in the passenger seat and Bobby was in the back.

It was odd having Dean the passenger in his own car. That's how Sam still thought of it, as Dean's car. During the months while Dean was…gone Sam kept thinking of it as Dean's. That he was just taking care of it till his brother got back…from…he cut the thought off there. He always did, he could never quite bring himself to accept the thought that Dean might never come back, that he was being held…hurt….captive for possibly eternity; so the car became a sort of shrine. A tangible link to his brother's life and the promise of his return.

And now he felt, what was this feeling? Nervous? That his brother was sitting beside him, watching him drive HIS car, his baby. Sam had lovingly polished the car every week while his brother's been 'away' so when Dean had run his hand over the shiny black paint job, and said, "She looks good Sammy". That one comment meant the world to him. Hav'n his brother back, hav'n his praise at keep'n his baby ready for him. It almost cost Sam a sob, but he'd turned away and swallowed just in time. No chick flick moments here! No sir. Not gonna happen.

But Sam couldn't help but feel a little nervous still at the subtle scrutiny his brother gave every detail of his driving and he couldn't wait for the time when Dean would take his rightful place behind the wheel and it would feel more normal about his brother being back.

wWwWw

At the Motel Father Mick met them at the door. Missouri had come over before and was setting up the coffee and the Danishes 'cause she knew the boys could always eat.

Father Mick began by saying, "Well, I suppose you're here to find out more about the maintenance of Deans condition." And he passed out three printouts detailing the sins of the body, the mind, the heart and the soul. Some of the text was right out of the earliest councils the church had convened on the nature of sin and how it separates the soul from a state of heavenly being.

It was everything Dean didn't want to hear. And so the meeting went about as good as could be expected. Bobby asked every question under the sun to clarify the 'Dos and Don'ts' but the gist was that to safeguard Dean's special status the older Winchester would just about have to live in a monastery.

"Well, this is not gonna friggin' work." Dean said in a voice loud enough to stop all the debate. "I can't be on a hunt in the middle of hand to hand combat with a demon and have to worry about whether I crossed some metaphysical line because shooting it with rock salt on a Sunday will get me cut from the God squad."

Missouri stood up and moved toward him. By the look on her face Dean was getting ready to flinch. She moved briskly and put her hand on his but then something changed in her demeanor. She looked into Dean's eyes with alarm and spoke, "Child, you should leave now."

The Father began to sputter against it but Missouri held up her hand and said, "What that boy has go' in on is bigger than you or I can understand right now, any decision he makes about how he handles this gift has got to be his own, in order for things to work out as they should, it's got to be from his own heart."

The Father bowed his head and let out a great sigh but didn't try to stop them from leaving.

Missouri looked sadly into Dean's eyes, and gave his hand a squeeze. "Dark forces are swirling around you and your brother Dean, now more than ever, you take care of each other."

"I will ma'am' Dean looked like he would have preferred her anger than this bit of news and he swallowed to moisten his suddenly dry throat then said, "Sam, we're outta here."

Sam went over to help his brother out of the chair and Bobby pushed himself off the wall he'd been leaning on to open the door for the boys. He nodded once to their hosts inside the motel room then closed the door behind and headed toward the car after the brothers.

They didn't notice the older man with the cane that was standing beside the car parked next to theirs. But they should have. As Sam and Dean approached the Impala's passenger side door he stuck. He swung the cane and it brutally connected with Sam's head and he went down, his limp weight carrying Dean down with him. Then the man leapt upon Sam and began to viciously throttle the unconscious man's neck. Dean struggled back up and attempted to pull the man off his brother but was tossed away with one mighty swing of the older man's arm. _He's possessed!_ Thought Dean as he landed hard away from the fight. Bobby rounded the back of the Impala with his trusty bowie knife and the demon swung around grabbed the wrist with the knife and landed an upper cut on Bobby's jaw that laid him out cold. Dean made it back over just in time for the demon to stab him in the side with Bobby's knife; but as he fell he kicked his foot up and knocked the knife out of the Demons hand. The demon didn't care about loosing the knife he just turned back to Sam and grabbing the unconscious man by the throat began to squeeze the life out of him .

Father Mick opened the door to the motel to see what all the commotion was about and he and Missouri witnessed Bobby push himself up off the ground, blood tailing down from his lip, pick up a huge knife and stab it into the back of a man who was choking Sam to death.

Suddenly the demon leapt back roaring in pain. He spun around to see the man he'd knocked out standing on unsteady legs a look of fierceness blazing in his eyes. The demon began to flash bursts of light from within as its world darkened and then it fell forward in a lump on the ground with Bobby's knife sticking out of its back. Bobby moved to check Sam who was gasping for air. Then they heard the moan. "Dean!" Sam's ruined voice croaked.

Father Mick ran over to help Bobby inspect the prone and bleeding Winchester. Missouri was helping Sam stand up. "Dean!" Sam croaked again pulling away from Missouri's fussin'

Bobby barked out," Sam get the med kit outta the car, Father help me lift Dean we gotta git him inside, see how bad this is, Missouri round up some towels I need to clean his wound!"

Everyone shifted from shock to duty and Dean was gently laid out on Father Mick's bed he was in a semi conscious state and moaning softly. Bobby and Sam both knew their biggest problem would be to stop the blood loss and keep his body from going into shock. Bobby gently wrestled the limp man out of his shirt and used the towels Missouri handed him to cleanup the wound. It was a deep puncture just above his left hip and beneath his ribcage. Bobby let out a sigh of relief as he splashed the Holy water on it and probed its depths. 'Didn't nick no major blood vessel, or bowel or kidney so I guess you could say he got lucky. But I'll need to stitch it shut and we can use the derma adhesive to close the wound and then I think butterfly it till it heals."

Then Bobby looked up to Sam who stood by the bed holding his breath. "You think you can drive?" Bobby asked the young hunter.

"Yeah, I think so. " Sam responded warily.

"Boy, don't tell me you can if you can't!" Bobby snapped at him. "You got conked pretty hard on the head, I heard the hollow clunk all the way over ta the other side of the car. How many fingers am I holdin' up?" And the older hunter tested Sam's eyes for concussion.

"Three Bobby, man I'm alright to drive" Sam replied shortly.

"Good, you and the Father go take care of the body while I patch up your brother." And Bobby fished the suturing needle out of the kit.

Sam moved past Missouri to the bathroom and ripped the shower curtain off its pole, bundled it under his arm and striding past Father Mick said a brief "Come on" to the priest.

The Father looked to Missouri who gave him a firm nod and then he rushed out the door after Sam.

Sam had spread the plastic sheet out next to the body and had begun laboriously rolling the dead man up in it. The Father stood there a moment not sure what to do.

"Anytime you want to pitch in and help push Padre it would sure be appreciated," said Sam over his shoulder as he huffed to roll the body over one more time.

Father Michelson had an epiphany in that moment.

Until then he had never encountered the kind of relentless evil these boys fought on a daily basis. The attack had been so sudden and out of nowhere that it just as well could have been his own body that Sam was about to enfold in a shower curtain. But it wasn't. The good guys had won this one. The poor bastard in the plastic sheet, no one knows. Just some innocent bystander that got caught up in this war, this brutal unforgiving war. And the best defense the world had lay bleeding on his bed right now while his brother was rapidly destroying evidence of a murder. And so it dawned on him that the one good thing that he can do right now is give this poor unnamed man a decent burial and pray for his soul. Pray for all their souls.

So the Father dropped to his knees and began pushing the body over and over till it was all covered up. Sam and he loaded the dead man into the back seat of the Impala and they headed out of town to a secluded spot where they salted and burned the body and the Father said his prayers.

On the ride back to the motel Sam was silent. The priest that sat beside him was lost in his own haunted thoughts about what just took place and his unexpected role in it. The thoughts that bothered Sam were how the demon died.

wWwWw

Back at the motel Missouri filled the role of prep nurse to Bobby's surgeon as Dean got another scar to add to his collection. Dean had thankfully remained unconscious for the worst of it and was just beginning to rouse as Bobby pressed the last butterfly bandage in place.

Dean hissed in pain as he tried to move and his hip flamed up alike a gout of fire. Then"OW!" as Bobby swatted his hand away from the freshly butterflyed wound.

"What the hell Bobby?" Dean blinked his eyes open and looked blurrily around the room. _Didn't they just leave here? Pain! Sharp, piercing…_ "M'side feels like I got.."

"Stabbed," Bobby supplied. "You did, a demon possessed codger with a cane just took us all down like he was scything the lawn."

Dean was awake now, eyes wide open. "Sam?"

"He's fine, got a lump on his head and his voice is a little horse but I killed the demon before he could do any worse to him." said Bobby in a very flat reply.

As if on cue the low rumble of the arriving Impala and the protesting squeaks of her doors opening heralded his bothers return. Two doors slammed shut and moments later the tall familiar form of his bother stood in the door to the motel. Behind him, Father Mick followed and closed the door. But Dean's exclamation stopped them all in their tracks.

"You KILLED the demon?" Dean said in surprise.

"Yep, with this knife." Bobby said holding up his old bowie knife. It was the same style Dean kept under his pillow at night-for precaution. But there was nothing special about it other than it's intimidating size.

"You get another knife like Ruby's?" Sam asked.

"Nope, this is the same old blade I've had for years, it couldn't have killed a demon no matter how many times I stabbed at it-- until this fight."

_There's something wrong_ Dean thought. _Bobby wasn't acting like he was happy. Not that Bobby's the jumping around shoutin' kind of guy when he is, but you tangle with a demon basically unarmed and you live and it dies; you should be happy._

Dean looked into the serious eyes of the man sitting on the bed next to him and he almost didn't want to ask, "So what made it so you could kill a demon this time Bobby?"

"See that stain on the blade?" Bobby asked Dean.

"The black?" Dean questioned.

"No, the one above the black area"

"It's red, it looks like blood." Dean said and looked warily up from the blade into Bobby's eyes.

"It is son, it's your blood" Bobby said softly with a look of weary sadness filling his features.

Missouri got it and put her hand to her lips emitting a little gasp. So did Father Mick his eyes widened and he leaned back against the wall for support. Only Sam and Dean seemed to be the one's still puzzled.

Dean looked at Bobby's expression and Missouri's wide-eyed face and couldn't, didn't process what it meant.

"That would explain the pain in my side" He quipped and tried to smile.

"Boy, it was your blood on the blade that killed the demon. It lit him up just like Rubys' knife did and he died within seconds after I just stabbed him once." Bobby smiled a little after that.

It hit Sam and he looked shocked.

"My…blood?" Dean looked back in disbelief and then he turned to Missouri as she gently sat down on the other side of him.

"It makes sense Dean" She said as she took up his hand and softly stoked it back and forth in soothing motions.

Father Mick finally found his voice and added, "If your touch can bless water it follows that your blood can obliterate the taint of demons and their sin in all its forms."

Dean gave a panicked look to Sam who looked back at him uncomprehending.

"Now, child," Missouri continued, "the most important thing for you to do right now is to get better from this…this evil attack and think on this new revelation to your gifts while you heal. You will know which is the best way to use them, your heart will tell you," and she suddenly looked like she was about to cry. She got up, blinked back the tears that were forming and asked Bobby, "Do you have any antibiotics in that med kit of yours?"

Bobby nodded to Sam and said, "You should."

The nod to him by Bobby broke the trance of disbelief Sam seemed locked in and he quickly said "Yes Ma'ame" to Missouri looking a little flustered at the abrupt change in her voice. But he got the med kit and took the bottle out, shook two capsules into his palm and passed them and the glass of water Missouri just handed him to Dean.

Dean painfully propped himself up against the headboard of the bed, popped the pills into his mouth and began to raise the glass to his lips when Missouri clucked her tongue at him. She gave Dean a knowing look and made a pantomime motion of stirring the water in a glass with her finger.

Dean slowly raised his hand and dipping it into the glass he held made a small swirl then tipped the contents into his mouth to swallow the pills. The waster tasted sweet again like at Bobby's and he quickly looked down at his chest to see if it was…. if he was gonna start glowing again.

That's when he noticed his chest was bare. _Oh Man_! He hated being on exhibit in front of Missouri of all people. "Uh, Bobby could you pass me my shirt?" he sheepishly asked.

"You mean this one?" Bobby held up the shirt he'd been wearing that now sported a tear surrounded by a huge stain of drying blood.

"Ugh" Dean growled another decent shirt ruined. And that one was really comfortable too.

"Sam could you get m'duffle outta the car?" Dean crossed his arms in front of himself and to no one in particular explained, " we keep duffels in the car for…emergencies…" Dean sighed as his skin began to take on that soft luminescence.

Sam smirked at Dean's futile gesture of modesty and said over his shoulder as he headed out the door, "Be right back, don't GLOW anywhere"

"So NOT funny" Dean shouted after him.

Sam brought Dean's duffle over to him and watched quietly as his brother selected a flannel shirt; but when Dean winced as he tried to put his arm down the sleeve Sam put his hand on his shoulder and said softly, "Hold on a minute."

"Both arms up" As he held the shirts sleeves open and up above the older Winchester head. This was exactly the way Dean used to get Sam into his shirts when they were growing up.

"Dude, you are not dressing me," Dean protested.

"I'll tell you what I'm not doing," Sam said in a soft no nonsense tone. "I'm not gonna stand by and watch you tear out all Bobby's stitches 'cause you're too stubborn to take help when it's offered. Now. Put. Your. Hands. Up.

Dean fought the urge to smile at his baby brother's take-charge tone. "You can be such a…"

"Bitch, I know" finished Sam as he rolled his eyes.

When his arms were in the sleeves all the way Sam helped Dean lean forward to bring the back of the shirt down along his back. Sam smirked and started to button the front but Dean slapped Sam's hands away saying, "I can do those myself" which only caused Sam to snort a laugh as he backed off.

But Sam didn't move too far away. As he watched his big brother doing such a simple every day thing as buttoning his shirt, his smile faded and he bit his lower lip. He'd almost lost him again this afternoon. Sam saw his brothers hands as they worked the buttons into the holes and noted that the skin was indeed emitting a soft glow, it made Dean seem more fragile somehow, his life more precious. Sam's heart hitched; he couldn't, wouldn't loose him again. Dean's head was bowed as closed the last button on the shirt when he felt his brother's hand on his shoulder.

Dean looked up frowning at what he thought was going to be an impatient remark from his brother but his expression changed when he saw the look of worry and concern on Sam's face.

When Sam spoke the take-charge tone was gone and replaced by one that had an unvoiced 'Please..' in it. "Let's go…now"

"Ok, Sammy we'll go" Dean said in his soothing voice, the one he always used to comfort Sam when he was scared as a kid. He looked to Bobby and the older man had already been gathering up the duffle and the kit and was likewise ready to go too.

Sam helped Dean get up and as they moved to open the door Father Mick asked if he could take care of Dean's ruined shirt.

"Keep it, burn it I don't care what you do with it" was the very weary reply Dean gave him.

What he didn't guess the priest would do with it is mail it off to a special lab at the Vatican for testing.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapt Chapt. 3 Without Sin

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just love 'em, wished ta' hell I worked for Kripke,

The response from this story has been bigger than any other one I've posted and I'm pleased and so very grateful to all of you that continue to follow this- Thank you for your enthusiasm and words of encouragement.

wWwWw

They got to the car and out of the motel parking lot without incident. Nobody said a word until the motel was lost from view in the rear view mirror. Dean was lying down on the back seat, Sam drove and Bobby rode shotgun. Bobby was the first to break the tense silence.

"I say we pack up everything we can think of and get the hell outta Dodge before anymore demons come sniffing around to pick a fight with either of you two."

Dean popped his eyes open as he lay in the backseat but just listened.

"Why d'ya suppose they got so bold Bobby? Mid day, public place but only one of 'em."

Sam asked glancing every now and then at the older man next to him.

Bobby answered in a tone that was deadly serious, "I think that guy was a scout for Lilith"

Sam snapped his eyes back to the road and his shoulders visibly tensed. After a moment he said, "So you think that now that Dean's back she's upped the ante and wants to fight?"

"I think it's pretty clear who the target was," Bobby said. "She wants you dead, the sooner the better for her now that she doesn't hold your brother any more".

Sam swallowed once. Bobby watched Sam's profile and he saw fierce determination hardened Sam's features as he stared at the road ahead. "And she won't ever get her hands on him again." growled the younger man gripping the wheel tighter.

The two men in the front seat began talking about the stuff they needed to pack in low conspiratol tones. Dean tried to listen but the adrenaline from the attack had worn off and even with the conversation coming from the front seat he just couldn't keep his eyes open. He fought to stay awake but fell into a fit-full sleep. And there he dreamed a dream.

There was a battle, it seemed like it was happening right out side a familiar front door. Lilith and her horde of demons were coming down upon them and he was panicking. He couldn't find Sam. Then he heard a booming voice outside that was louder and stronger than any voice he'd ever heard. It was male and at once familiar and at the same time so cold, so brutal. It challenged Lilith to combat one on one. Dean couldn't hear her retort but the reply made the voice laugh. And Dean knew then who the voice belonged to….it was Sam. But it wasn't really the sound of laughter that his brother'd ever made; this laughter was filled with the promise of a cruelty. Dean felt his heart gripped by dread and he crept up to the window, afraid of what he might see yet compelled to look. There was Sammy, his back to him, facing Lilith. And then as if his brother knew Dean was watching Sam looked at him; his eyes were not Sam's at all. They were ice blue and the evil in their look burned into the older Winchester's soul as his brother, who was no longer his, smiled at him.

Sam had turned, had gotten all his powers and was now more than an equal match for Lilith. Suddenly his face changed and the eyes were back to normal and a look of fear replaced the sneering confidence that had been there moments ago. Sam looked down at a knife in his hand, it was Bobby's knife and the second Dean saw it he felt a stabbing pain in his side. The knife blade became smeared with blood and Dean knew it was his. Sam looked back at him, sorrow splashed across his face, but then his eyes flared to icy blue and he turned back to Lilith and yelled, "Bring it on bitch!"

What happened next wasn't clear to Dean because blinding bright light and the sound of an explosion was the last thing he remembered.

He woke up to find himself curled up into a ball behind the widow. He was covered in broken glass and bleeding from tiny cuts everywhere. 'SAM!' He lurched to his feet, the front door had been blown off and he staggered outside. The air was choked with dust, it seemed to stretch out for miles all around but in front of him was the thickest cloud and he knew that inside that was his brother.

Sam was sitting in a chair all bound up. Bobby was still drawing mystical symbols in the dirt around him; it looked like the most elaborate devils trap Dean had ever seen. As he limped up to them Bobby finished and stood up, there were tears in his eyes, "You gotta do it boy, you know it's gotta be like this." He said to him, choking on the words. "Now, step up and make him sallow some of your blood."

His brother struggled against the bonds; rage contorting his face, "NO! Don't." Sam leveled his gaze at him and the eyes flashed ice-blue, " You don't know for certain that it won't kill me, I've had demon blood in me so long, it's a part of me, its…it's…..this is what I was meant to be!" Garrrrrrahhhh Sam strained to free himself; "I won't let you take this away, it's my destiny… it's all I am now."

Dean looked from the hateful glare of his brother to Bobby's solemn stare and he felt his heart break. It was the toughest decision he'd ever had to make in his life. It was a whole hellava lot tougher than deciding to give up his life, his soul to save his brother. Because if this didn't work he could end up killing him. And the echo of the last thing his father said to him came back over and over. "You have to save your brother, try as hard as you can Dean, but if you can't you may have to kill him." Is this how those words would come true?

Through gritting teeth Sam spit out "You can't do this Dean, you said you couldn't before and you won't do it now."

He looked into Sam's eyes again and a wall of hate came back at him. "Sammy," He said in a shaky voice as he took one halting step after another toward his brother, "You know I love ya, I 've spent my whole life protecting you."

He fought the urge to reach his arms out to his damaged brother and hug him to his chest, to rock him back and forth like he'd had when they were children and Sammy had been scared. But he just didn't know how much of his brother was in there now and if there was a shred of Sammy left inside he didn't know if there'd be enough to survive the purge that his blood would do to this…… dark side version.

"Nooooooo!" Sam writhed in the chair as Dean kept coming closer.

"I'd never hurt you" tears were beginning to blur his vision as he walked, "not if I could help it…" he wanted to stop just turn around and walk away but he couldn't leave Sam like this, not when he knew it would only lead to more harm, more hurt, more families torn apart, and he knew that Sam wouldn't want this either not the Sammy he knew.

He saw his hand reach out above Sam's head it seemed to move on it's own without his bidding. The cuts from the window glass had ribboned his skin and slow streams of red covered his arm.

Bobby stepped up behind Sam's head and wrestled it back while he pinched the boy's nose shut. Sam's mouth instinctively flew open gasping for breath.

And Dean watched in horror and hope as three small red drops fell from his arm toward his brother's open mouth. _What if it doesn't work? What if Sam dies? Am I killing my brother? _Sudden fear seized him and he forced all his will into making the drops miss.

But they didn't.

Bobby released his hold on Sam's head and jumped back as soon as the screaming began.

His brother yelled his name over and over and Dean felt his world shaking.

wWwWw

"Dean, Dean, DEAN!"

Dean's eyes flew open and his world spun a little less as the shaking slowed then stopped. He found himself in the back seat of the Impala staring up at the ceiling and then his brother's gigantic upside down face impaired the view. Sammy!

With worry and fear Dean reached up grabbing Sammy's face and pulled it down toward him searching the eyes. Eyes that hadn't changed, eyes that still had their true color and were now scrunched with annoyance as Dean gripped his face. "Are you ok? Dean demanded.

"Hey, quit it! Lemmy go!" Sam protested. "What'dya doin?!"

Dean's grip tightened on his brother's head, "Stop struggling Sam, and let me lookit you wouldja!" he said in his 'I mean in now Sammy' tone.

Sam exhaled a deep exasperated sigh and stood still indulging his wounded brother. "You know I'm not the one that got stabbed don't you?" He said looking down at Dean's worried face.

Dean locked eyes with his for a moment and Sam saw a flicker of something pass over his brother's face.

Then Bobby's bark from the porch ended the moment, "Sam! Quite fooling around and get your brother outta the car!"

Dean dropped his hands away from Sam's face and said with a smirk, "I've got two words for you…"

"What?" Asked Sam as he gently pushed his brother up to a sitting position and began to ease him out of the car.

"Breath mints."

Sam breathily replied "OH, VHHery Nhice" right in Dean's face as his older brother rose up to lean on him for the walk to the house.

Dean pressed his lips together in a fine line not because of the pain in his side but to keep from laughing at the pain of an ass brother currently helping him up Bobby's steps. "You know you're still not to big for an ass-wupp'n"

"Yeah, but first ya'd hafta catch me" Sam answered when he stopped on the porch. A second ticked by and Dean looked up at Sam, curious to the lack of progress, and saw that look again on his little brother's face. The same one Sam had before they'd left the motel, the one that said 'Don't leave Dean.' And the raw fear in Sammy's eyes took him by surprise.

_Time to man the defenses._ "S'ok," Dean said and nodded toward the door, "Your breath doesn't stink that bad."

Sam sighed, "Jerk" and helped his brother through the door.

They found Bobby on the phone and he was agitated.

"That was Rufus", Bobby growled, " he's got a safe house we can go to but he said it won't be ready for a couple of days. He also said the activity has jumped off the scale and advised that we hunker down once we get there…. it could be a long haul."

"Where is this place?" Sam asked.

Bobby paused before he answered. "Just out side Lawrence; it's in the middle of an old abandoned factory complex."

Dean and Sam exchanged glances with each other. They knew the place well, they'd played there as kids when their mode of transportation back then had be bicycles. So they'd be head' in home, back to the area where this all started. And each brother felt a cold shudder inside.

wWwWw

The next day Dean was up and moving fine. It definitely seemed that drinking the Holy water speeded up his healing process. He was standing at the kitchen counter fixing scrambled eggs for everyone when he looked up to see his brother's tall form fill the doorway. Sam was standing…no, more like swaying in the frame of the doorway and squinting back at him.

"Mornin' sunshine." Smiled Dean.

Sam had practically sleep walked into the kitchen. Normally, it was he that was the early riser and as he slowly made his way over to a chair at the kitchen table he rubbed at his eyes and groaned, "Who are you and what have you done to my brother?" Then he sat down in a slump.

Dean huffed a laugh as he passed Sam a brimming cup a Joe and said, "Just thought it was 'bout time I earned my keep around here. Sausages will be up in a minute"

Sam's eyes opened a little more when he heard the links sizzle and snap as they hit the hot pan. He usually chose his food wisely. Staying away from the overly processed greasy fare his brother seemed to thrive on. But sausages were his one concession to flavor over function and he felt his mouth begin to water and his body wake to the savory smell.

"What time did you wake up?" Sam asked after a few sips.

"Don' no, saw my first sunrise that wasn't cause of a stakeout or drink'n" Dean answered as he poured the eggs into the heated pan.

Sam considered this. He watched his brother deftly fold the eggs into fluffy mounds of golden melt in your mouth textures and then set the pan aside. Dean moved on to tend the sausages and grab a few slices of bread for the toaster. He was moving with the precision and grace of fine short order cook, not a motion was wasted not an action repeated. He was utterly in the zone and focused at the task.

And that's why it all looked so alien to Sam. Dean never gets himself together in the a.m. The only time his brother moves with this focused fluidity is when his mind is working out a problem and his hands just need something to do while his brain sorts things out.

"Dean, what's on your mind?"

His brother stopped buttering the toast and put the knife slowly down. "It can wait."

Dean fixed a plate, grabbed the utensils and put everything down in front of a waiting Sam. His brother looked at the inviting food and up at Dean who was just standing there looking back. After a moment Dean turned around to fix himself a plate and said over his shoulder, "You should eat that before it gets cold, nothing' worse that cold scrambled eggs".

Sam began to tuck into the food but he didn't let the subject drop. Dean had to have a lot on his mind, I mean: Hell, Holy water, and demon killing blood! If he was in the mood to open up this would be the perfect time to do it. "So you never really answered me, got somethin' on your mind?" He was taking another bite when he heard his brother swallow. So he looked up.

Dean was sitting with his elbows on the table, his chin rested on his folded hands, tented over his plate of untouched food. He looked like he was about to pray but he was staring back at him and there was a frown on his face.

"What is it?" asked Sam a bit worried.

"How could you tell the difference between a prophecy dream and a regular one?" Dean asked.

"The prophesy one's came true'" was Sam's glib reply.

Dean rolled his eyes and said, "Did they feel different, were they more vivid?"

Sam realized Dean was serious and answered truthfully. "Yeah, they were..like I was there, seeing the whole scene play out like it was a movie but I could feel and smell and hear like it was real."

Dean sat back and ran a hand over his short spiky hair and sighed, "I think I had one."

"Last night?" asked Sam.

"When we were coming back from the motel I musta passed out or sum'n but I had this dream. It felt different from any dream I've ever had. It felt like I was watchin' things happen but I could feel every thought I was having like I was right there in the moment." In a hushed tone Dean added, "It was like I was seeing something that was going to happen and I couldn't stop it." and his eyes took on a haunted look.

"Well, what was it about?" asked Sam.

"It was about you Sammy, about what you're gonna be and what I hafta do…"

Sam put his fork down, "Tell me." He said concern-replacing worry.

"We were at this place, it was kinda familiar. I was standing in this room and I knew Lilith was outside with all her demon friends but I couldn't find you. Then I heard voices outside and I looked out this window and you were facing her; had your back to me but when you turned around… your eyes…"

"What about them, Dean?"

"They weren't yours….anymore…they'd changed.

Sam had to ask," What color were they?" Afraid Dean would say yellow.

"They were like filled with blue light, Sammy, it almost hurt to at them directly." and Dean lowered his head.

Sam thought about this. "Did I…change?"

"You weren't you, not totally" Dean looked back up to meet his gaze.

Sam sighed and his jaw muscles tightened. "What happened with Lilith?"

"You killed her, I don't know what happed to the rest of 'em but suddenly there was this bright light and …it sounded like an explosion and then nothing else was standing, just this mist. It blew out the glass in the window where I was standing, I got cut up but I went outside to look for you."

"You were ok?" said Sam in a small voice.

"Yeah, I was fine just a lot of blood because of the glass, but ok.

And Sam asked Dean his worst fear, "So I didn't try to hurt you?"

"Uh no…but…"

"But what Dean!" Sam said a little too loudly.

"I found Bobby and he said that I had to make you swallow some o'my blood."

Sam's look of worry turned to one of horror, "Your blood?"

Dean winced a little at the look, his own face beginning to pinch with the strain, " It was supposed to counteract the demon blood in your system but I didn't know if it would kill you, man." And his voice was on the edge of cracking. "I didn't know how far gone you were and if there was enough of you left to survive it."

Sam heard the sound of his brother's voice and looked down at the table and quietly said, "It was just a dream Dean."

"Sam…" Dean waited for his brother to look back at him. "Sammy…"

When he did he looked older somehow. "It was just a dream."

Dean slowly shook his head and said softly, "No, it wasn't."

Then Sam glared at him and rose up from the table. He took two steps away from his brother toward the back door then spun around, "Dean, I've fought this….this thing Yellow eyes did to me ever since I found out it about it. I've fought against changing, against turning into one of them, 'cause if I thought for a moment that I was gonna do anything that would hurt you or Bobby …or any innocent civilian…." Sam huffed and licked his lips then gestured with a sweep of his arms, "I fight against it taking control every day, man..…every damn day" and his lower lip quivered but he bit down to make it stop. Then in his own halting tone said, "If that ever happens, if I change…. I'd want you to do what ever you have to… before I ….before I killed you, man. I couldn't live with myself; some part of me would know I did it….and… I couldn't live with that." Sam stood his ground; hands stuffed into his jeans as his eyes brimmed with tears.

"Don't ask me…." Dean tilted his pleading eyes up to his brother

"You gotta" Sam stated. " You know it's gotta be like this."

Dean went pale as he heard Sam's words echo what Bobby had said to him in the dream.

wWwWw

Over the last couple of days Bobby knew something was up between the two brothers. They'd been busy enough with the packing but never quite made eye contact with each other. But he'd catch Sam watching his brother when he didn't think Dean was looking and he'd catch Dean pull his gaze away from watching Sam as the younger one left a room.

Bobby just chalked it up to the boys feeling hinky about revisiting Lawrence again. They were definitely spooked about somthin'. Normal conversation was scarce and there was none of the amiable bickering those two always did as their way of easing the pressure and reassuring one about the other.

But what ever it was they'd have plenty of time to sort it out once they got settled at the safe house. Bobby's biggest fear lay in trying to out guess when and where the next volley of assaults from Lilith's army would strike. He didn't like the tone Missouri had used the last time she'd spoken. It was if she knew something about what was coming.

All the supplies and gear had been loaded up between Bobby's truck and the Impala and they were just going over a last minute checklist when there was a knock on the door.

Bobby motioned for the brothers to fan out and cover him as he cautiously approached the front door and peered out the peephole.

To his surprise it was Father Mick that stood on the other side. He waived the boys to stand down and opened the door slowly.

"Hadn't expected to see your face Father I thought you'd gone back to Kansas" Said Bobby in a cautiously flat tone.

"Hi Bobby, can I come in, I need to speak to Dean." the Priest replied urgently. Bobby was about to say that they were just leaving when Father Mick spotted Dean and brushed past to approach the older Winchester.

"Dean, it's good to see you again, how are you feeling?" He asked.

Dean glanced at Bobby and then at Sam and said cautiously, "Fine, pretty good as a matter of fact, almost back to 100"

"Fine, Fine that's good to hear" And the smiling Priest seemed genuinely happy at the news.

"Dean, I wanted you to know that I took the liberty of sending your stained shirt on to a special lab we have at the Vatican for testing" He looked intently at Dean.

"Testing?" Dean asked.

"Yes, yes I used to work for a branch of investigation that did authentication of claims involving miracles. It was there that I sent your shirt." He paused for them to process the implication.

"And?…" Bobby asked impatiently.

"Look, Dean" Father Mick began, "I have been in contact with my superiors about your condition, and they believe as I do that this is too important a gift bestowed upon you to not be devoted to further scrutiny. They have asked me to accompany you back to the Vatican where a suite of rooms is being prepared for you. You represent a unique opportunity for the church to come to better understand this state of elevated grace, that up until now, was thought to be impossible for living mortal man to possess."

The room went still.

"You'd be treated with the utmost respect. You'd have full freedom of the suite and the wing it's located in. You'd have only minor responsibilities as outlined by the Church such as a monthly Blood offering, that is merely ceremonial, and would provide consecrated amulets for the faithful and of course the production of Holy Water that would be disbursed throughout the Dioceses of the world and offered to the pilgrims that visit the Holy city."

Still no response from his audience so the Father pressed on, his enthusiasm barely restrained. " Your presence would be revered next only to the Pope himself and you'd be secure from all harm by the best trained private army in the world. Dean you'd live in virtual luxury for the rest of your days."

Sam looked hopefully to his brother; this might be their chance for true safety from Lilith and her hordes. "So, we'd be staying in Vatican city itself?"

The Father looked suddenly uncomfortable and said, "Regrettably, this offer only extends to Dean no other family members would be allowed permanent stay-for security reasons."

Dean pressed his lips together as his anger built. Remove him to the Vatican? Away from Sam and Bobby just when the fight was heating up? This was just so wrong on so many different levels that he found himself unable to utter but one word.

"NO!" he said.

Sam moved to stand between the priest and his brother, his gun drawn and leveled at the man of God.

Father Mick's eyes went wide. This was not what he had expected at all. Disbelief, some protests... he'd been prepared for that but he had not been prepared for armed resistance.

"Leave now" the low tone from Sam's voice left no doubt that any objection would not be tolerated.

"Wait, Dean," The Father pressed, "What you are now is a gift to the world, to all those who have faith…"

The next sound was the click of Bobby's revolver being cocked. "Boys you go on ahead a me, I'll keep the Father company for a bit and catch up to you" Bobby never let his eyes drift from the confused and flustered man of the cloth under his aim.

Dean walked over to the coat hook and grabbed his leather jacket and Sam's coat and headed out the door without a glance back at the Priest. Sam backed out the door holstering his gun only after he got outside. Then they both got in the Impala and drove away in silence. It was too surreal.

_Of all times for God to show an interest in their problems and it has to come in the form of another obstacle between them and the ending of this damn war_ Sam thought sourly as his brother drove them back to where it all began.

wWwWw

They'd been on the road for several hours, Sam had fallen asleep, lulled by the motion of the car as it speed along the highway. Dean had turned the music down letting his brother continue his sleep so that by the time they pulled over and ate something, he'd be refreshed and could then take his turn at the wheel letting Dean cat nap for a hundred miles or so. The late afternoon sun had turned the landscape deep shades of butterscotch and peaches and Dean thought of how much he liked this time of day best. Traffic always seemed to lighten up, the air got cooler if it was a hotter time of year and the colors were more vivid. Funny he'd never really thought that much about colors before…before he died. But now he understood they had always been a source of joy for him he'd just never realized it till now.

He'd been doing a lot of heavy thinking as he drove; he'd been glancing over to Sam, watching the peaceful face his baby brother always wore when he slept in the car. He'd been thinking about that dream he'd had and the last words his father had said to him.

Had his Dad known?

Dean remembered his own moments of prescient thought, as he got closer to his own death and plunge to hell. He had seen glimpses of how some things turned out. It helped them flee the Hellhound for a while... but…was all this now what his Dad seen? That someday he would be weighing a decision this heavy on a scale so delicately balanced that if he didn't play it just right it would tip and he would loose Sammy forever.

His choice.

And he'd have to live with that decision.

He thought about what kind of a future he could expect if Sam wasn't in it..

There would be a suite of rooms in a secluded part of the Vatican where he would spend the rest of his days. Days that would consist of being drained of a portion of his blood. Blood that would be encapsulated in charms and prayer beads for the faithful. And he'd probably spend the rest of his time swirling his finger around in a solid gold fountain to produce vials of Blessed water for the pilgrims that would flock outside the Holy city to be near the residence of a living Saint.

If Sam was gone from his life and he was locked away in some gilded rooms in Rome it would just be like dying a second time. Never to ride in his Baby again, never to see the road stretch before him and zoom along under a big empty blue sky or beneath a star studded night. Never to feel the pleasure of a woman or the smell of her hair, her soft breathy voice in his ear as he held her tight, never to taste again a burger or a beer!

_Seems to me that kinda of life would be, in its own way, as awful a thing to bear as Hell itself. And I know Hell. _Dean thought.

He glanced again for the hundredth time over at Sam who sleepily whimpered and adjusted his impossibly long body to a more comfortable position on the bench seat beside him. No, this felt too right, too familiar, like home, to give up.

_There had to be a reason why he'd come back changed, had to be a reason why he'd come back at all! And it had to be about defeating the demons, nothing else made sense._

The strategist in Dean spun all the possible combinations to what their best plan would be if, like the dream, Lilith and her army came calling. He'd had the conversation with Sam about what had happened that night he'd died. How Lilith had done her white-eye heat wave thing but Sam had not been touched. So it was good to know that if his brother had to face her she wouldn't be able to blast him away from a distance.

_Sammy could get in close and maybe with a knife tipped with my blood he could kill the bitch. _

And there were other thoughts swirling around in his head_. _

_What if she pulls something else we don't know about, something that Sam's not strong enough to defend against, no amount of demon killing blood will help if he can't deliver it right into her. He'd have to be stronger than she is…._and the gist of what Ruby'd said to them came drifting back to him. With Sam's powers unleashed he could destroy Lilith easily.

_But it's not a switch you can turn on then turn off. Once Sam changed he be like that….forever. Until the day he died.. ...until the day I'd have 'ta kill 'im. _

Dean shuddered his sigh and it was loud for Sam to hear and he began to wake.

"Wha' happened... time iz 't" Sam slurred as he rubbed his eyes and unwound from the comfortable curl he'd been in.

"Nothin' Sam, just thinking too loud" Dean turned to him and with a sad smile said, "Still got a few miles to go why don't you go back to sleep I'll wake you when we get to a good place to eat and switch off, 'K?"

Sam looked through sleep-blurred eyes, Dean had his famous worry creases furrowed between his brows, and he knew that look he'd seen Dean's brow pinch together like that all his life. Every time his big brother faced a problem he'd worry at all angles of it until he got a plan. Then the pinch would go away as he'd throw himself into full on assault mode pulling all the pieces together to execute that plan. But he wouldn't drop it, wouldn't ever let it be until the problem was solved.

"Humphhh" Sam smiled wearily and thought, _and he calls me stubborn. Tha' I'm the one with OCB. _

"Whaddya say?" Dean slapped Sam's knee"Ya wanna get back to that good dream you're hav'in?"

Sam rolled his eyes and rubbed his face harder the sighed, "What time is it?"

"'bout six" Dean replied. "Come on, you've only had about four hours."

"Na, I'm good" Sam answered and began to shift around to look out at the scenery speeding by. They passed over a small bridge that spanned a river and the long rays of the sun had turned the marsh grass a brilliant gold and the clouds a palette of warm pastels. Sam was transfixed at the sight of the natural beauty, of the peace and order the world at times possessed.

"The colors are beautiful aren't they?" He heard a voice beside him say. And he slowly turned his head to look astonished at his brother.

"I mean look 'it that, if you painted that scene, with all the colors there...just as they are... people would say you were crazy or on drugs or both!" Dean's hand gesturing at the sight as he smiled.

"Since when do you even think about...colors, Man?" said Sam incredulously.

Dean stopped smiling and looked back at the road. "Dude, I've always thought of colors and shit".

"No you haven't, in fact if I'd just said that you'd call me a..."

"Girl, I know" Dean agreed. "But I always did think about...things, I just never said'em...out loud."

"Like me" Sam teased.

"Cause you're such a ..."

"Girl?" Sam supplied.

Dean huffed a sigh with a smile, "Sorry I've always teased you like that. I never told you but you being able to say what's on your mind no matter what is something I've always admired about you Sammy... I asked you to grow outta a lot of things when we were kids but I guess it's alright if you don't grow outta that." Dean turned to look at Sam and found his younger brother staring straight ahead his jaw muscles working to swallow back the impact of his words.

"Dude, I didn't make you cry? Dean teased.

"Shuddup"

_This is how they always dealt with things, Dean'd open up a little, Sam'd try to push for more and they'd either get to a new level or Dean would take two steps back, it was like a dance really. _

And it always happened in the car, where the speed of the scenery outside made them feel that they could run away but where they had no place to hide from each other.

_It was almost like an apology,_ Thought Sam, _NO... IT WAS AN APOLOGY- for all the times he'd slammed me, blunted back my feelings, and took issue with my "guyness". It was as if Dean was trying to make things right between him and me. Before something happened and he wouldn't get the chance?_

Sam's jaws stopped working and he turned to his brother. "You got a plan yet?" he asked.

He saw Dean's hands grip the wheel a little tighter. "I figure we'll go for another two hours or so till we find a nice rest stop with food and gas then you can take over and I can catch some sleep" His brother said in profile to him.

"No, I didn't mean that" Said Sam. "I mean about Lilith."

"We lie low like Bobby said." Dean answered with out meeting Sam's gaze.

Sam paused then hung his head low, "I don't think so."

"What do you mean you don't think so?" Dean flashed an angry glare back at him.

"Dean, there is no way in Hell I'm gonna sit by and watch as you go back to Hell, Man. And as long as she lives she still holds the contract on your soul, if she kills me first then I can't protect you, if you trip over a rake and it impales you, you die and she gets to have you back..." Sam caught his brother's glance and he heard himself growl dangerously low, and..that's...just not gonna happen...again."

"Dude, I'm not gonna die tripping over a rake!"

Sam shook his head, "You don't remember anything that happened back at that Mystery Spot place but you can die a lot of different ways." And the pain Sam still carried from his time trapped there was evident on his face.

Dean stared at him a moment then turned his head back to the road. "I thought the deal'd be broken once I came back." He said to the road.

"Dean, the Deal was she got the contract for your soul, no escape clause, no 'oops if you find a way back it's broken', as long as she lives the contract stays valid."

"You don't know that!"

"Don't have to," was Sam's response, " all we have to count on is that if she dies the contract is broken, end of Deal. Until then we can't...I can't... we don't dare assume you're home free now." Sam and Dean then locked eyes.

Dean said in a weary voice, "So it's still not over?"

"Not until she's dead."

They drove in silence for a while then Dean said, "Sounds like you've been thinking on this some."

"I have." Was Sam's short reply.

"Well, if you've got a plan I'm all ears." Said Dean.

Sam steeled himself for the outrage he expected from Dean. "Well, I think we should plan that her attack is imminent."

"Agreed"

"We know your blood will kill them, so we should stock up on weapons that can deliver it into them. Like knives, Stakes and cross bow arrow tips." Dean looked at him in surprise at the mention of cross bows. Sam continued, " we can soak the pellets of shot in it and then repack the shells so that we can use our sawed off against them."

"Sounds good, how much blood do you think you're gonna need for this?" Dean said smirking as he looked over to Sam.

Sam smiled and shook his head. "We can't bleed you dry Dean. That means we can only make demon killing weapons a few at a time and only once a month."

"That would take months! And what if m'blood's got a shelf life like it only kill's 'em when it's fresh?" Dean asked.

"I know, I know," said Sam in frustration. "That's why I think we should at least consider me taping into my powers. Turning, the moment the fight begins."

"Whoa, WHOA, no way lil'bro," Dean nearly stopped the car.

"Dean, if the only way to kill her is to use the combination of powers I have at my disposal and your blood then it's a no brainer. I can kill her and you're free. And once she's dead you can use the blood on me to change me back."

Dean looked at his brother and saw the belief in Sam's eyes that he could bring him back, could restore him to the honest, kind, good man that he knew Sam really was inside and shuddered at his own fear.

"What if it doesn't bring you back, what if it...I wind up killing you with it?" Dean searched his brother's face for an answer with pleading eyes.

"It's still a win." Sam softly said.

Dean's fear turned to anger on a dime, "WHA...How do you figure that?"

"I've got demon blood in me right now," Sam quietly said, "If I die tomorrow I'd probably be go'in to Hell anyway. But if you take the taint away like Missouri and Father Mick say you can I won't have to face that after death."

Dean looked shocked, why hadn't he thought of that! And the thought of his baby brother having to go through the tortures he'd had done to him brought tears to his eyes. He hit the brakes and pulled the car over.

"Dean! What the fuck man!" Yelled Sam as he braced himself against the dashboard from the sudden stop.

"That's it Sammy, we're doing this now!" Growled Dean as fat tears rolled down one cheek, " Gimmy my knife", he motioned to the glove compartment as he rolled up a sleeve."

Sam realizing what he was about to do slammed his hand over the glove's door and said, "NO!"

"Sam, I'm not gonna let you go to Hell either, it's no place to have a reunion, now gimme the knife."

With a softer but stronger voice than Dean had ever heard from his brother Sam said, "No." Then, "Dean the only way you stay outta Hell is for me to kill Lilith, the only way I stay outta Hell is for you to save me after I do. Don't you see man? If your blood just kills the demon in me, GREAT, you and I can both know that someday we'll rest in peace. But even if you can't save m'body I'll still be saved from the pit and that's still a win. You'd be saved from Hell, I'd be saved from Hell-its better than what we got gon'in on now." And one of his tears joined Deans on the leather of the bench seat as the two young men stared at each other and saw eternity staring back.

To be continued... Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapt. 4-"Without Sin"

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just love 'em. Wish ta 'ell I worked for Kripke.

wWwWw

Dean stared at his little brother and wash of helplessness, the same he had the day Sammy died in his arms, overcame him. Softly he spoke of his fear as his emotion horsely choked his voice, "This plan... If she kills you first... then we're both screwed..."

"Then I can't let her," Sam flatly answered. "That's why I'll need to turn before I face her; and you can't be anywhere near me when I do."

"Wha...What why?" Dean yelled.

Sam's voice answered quietly, "You know that chick Ava, from Peoria? We thought a demon broke into her place and killed her fiancé and took her away remember?"

"Yeah, there wasn't much left of him." Dean said as he grimly recalled the scene.

"Well, she turned, Dean." Sam stated, "She was one of the group, along with me, that the Yellow Eyed demon brought together at that ghost town. I don't think it was a random demon that killed him when she disappeared." Sam paused "I think Ava did it herself. I think Ava killed her own fiancé when she turned Dean. And I don't want you or Bobby anywhere near me when my powers kick in, cause I don't know if... if I'll even recognize you ...or if... I'll seek you out as my first act of murder on this earth once I go demon." Sam fought back fresh tears his jaw clenching and unclenching on the last words.

Staring back at him Dean saw fear so raw on Sammy's face that it looked as if it would break his baby brother just in telling him of it.

Dean instinctively tried to diffuse the tension, "Nah, ya wouldn't Sammy," he smirked.

"We just don't know fer sure..." Sam pleaded.

"We know you hate Lilith, and she wants me back in Hell bad. If you killed me you'd be doin' the Bitch a favor and a good demon general wouldn't be doin his arch rival any favors." Dean said with more confidence in his voice than he felt.

Sam blinked back his tears in surprise, _Dean was right; he felt it. He wouldn't be doing any favors for Lilith including handing Dean's soul over to her by killing him himself._

"I still don't trust that I'd be safe to be around, not for you or Bobby" Sam said. But he didn't feel as hopeless now.

Dean nodded, started up the car and pulled back on the road, "So, Bobby and I lay low until the Bitch is dead."

"Yeah, I guess," Sam had surreal feelings about this as they headed up the highway_. It actually went rather well. Huh._

Dean wiped the last tears out of his eyes and turning to his bother said, "You know Bobby's gonna pitch a fit when we tell him."

Sam was busy rubbing both his hands over his face, his eyes were still puffy and his cheeks still had traces of red blotches were the tears had kissed them on the way down. But his dimples began to show when he said with a weary sigh, "Yeah, I suspect he will."

As the Impala's familiar growl receded into the night both brothers silently thought about the same thing. How in the world were they going to break this plan to the man who was a father to them now? How in the Hell could they ask him to get behind what was tantamount to a suicide mission for the both of them?

wWwWw

Dean was the first to be pulled from his thoughts when the gust of wind buffeted against the car. He gripped the wheel tighter to keep her in the lane.

The sudden swerve bought Sam out of his reverie and he shouted. "What was that!?"

"I dunno Sam, must be wind shear or somethin" Dean hissed through clenched teeth as he fought the shoves of the strong winds.

Sam scanned the horizon but the sky was clear like it had been all day, not a cloud in sight but the wind had suddenly kicked up.

PING! The first hailstone hit the hood leaving a dent. "SONOFABITCH!" shouted Dean as he looked at the ding in his Baby. PING...PANG...DIT..DIT.. The air was filled with golf ball sized hail bouncing off the road and the car-- and still the sky was clear.

To Dean it felt as if a giant invisible hand had grabbed her roof and was making the car zig and zag across the double line; he had all he could do to keep it from careening off the road. The highway they were on made a sharp turn and Sam was the first to see the cause. A twister! In the middle of a freaking clear sky!

Dean saw it now too but was too busy swerving around the debris in the road. Parts of cars and trees and houses littered the ground.

CRASH! A spray of shattered glass struck the back of their necks, Dean hit the brakes and Sam ducked down as the car swerved to a halt. The rear widow was gone and sitting in the back seat was a lawnmower! They barely had time to register the oddity when CRASH! The front windshield spider webbed from the impact of a huge chunk of ice. And then just like that it was over.

Dean and Sam got out of the car and looked at the near miss. The hood, the roof and trunk were dimpled with hits from the hail. The top of the roof was also badly dented at the back where the handle of the mower stuck out the rear window; the front window was covered in cracks and partially stove in at the center. Dean flung his arms wide and shouted "What the Hell Sam!"

But before Sam could respond with words to sooth his frantic brother they both suddenly became aware of the sounds of whimpering. It tore their eyes away from the Impala and spun them to face a tableau of human devastation. They were in the middle of a truck-stop, the diner they had been planning on stopping at was in ruins, cars and tanker trucks tipped over, bodies on the ground and then like a switch had been hit the screaming started.

Both men rushed to the scene moving among the dead to triage the wounded.

One mother covered in blood sobbed and clung to the limp body of her little girl. Dean gently approached them and crouched down. He reached his hands out. The frantic mother cried "Save her, save my baby!" The mother passed the little girl gently into Dean's arms and he thought, '_She weighs nothing'_ as he gathered the rag doll form to him.

He looked down at the small soft lashes of her closed eyes thinking, '_She could be just sleeping'_ but the loose limbs and stilled breath told him otherwise. He began mouth to mouth, while the mother kneeling beside him, rocked back and forth to her own keening sobs. Dean's mind strove to impart life ' _Too young, too young to stop like this' _Breath, push, push, push, he applied three soft compressions against the child's chest. Breath, push, push, push. Breath, push, push, push.

The little soft lashes fluttered. And the small face scrunched up in pain.

"WHAaaaaaah!" The child screamed as the pain wracked her body, she was hurt inside, hurt real bad. Dean hushed the child in soothing tones and smoothed her hair down the way he used to smooth Sammy's when he was panicked or hurt.

"SAMMY!" he shouted clutching the child. SAM! His brother suddenly appeared at his side and Dean urgently said, "Get me some water, now Sam!" Seconds later Sam passed him a looted bottle from the ruined diner and Dean tore off the cap stuck his finger in the top and shook the bottle in his hand, then he pulled his finger out and gently tipped a few drops in the open mouth of the crying child. At first only sputters were added to her wails then the urgency of her crying slowed and she opened her eyes making little 'Sup, sup' noises as her tears stopped.

Dean smiled down at her and said softly "Feeling better now?" Two very big brown eyes looked back up at him curiously and she nodded slowly back. The mother started up fresh tears as she reached out her arms and Dean carefully placed the girl inside their safe embrace.

Dean took the fresh cloth that Sam handed him and tipped some water from the bottle onto it and softly began to wipe away the blood from the mother's forehead. At first the ragged tear beneath the coating of red looked deep and angry but as Dean applied more water it looked less and less so.

Dean calmed the mother saying, "She just probably got the wind knocked outta her, she'll be fine" And he left them and moved on with Sam to find more wounded.

It was like a bomb had gone off in the center of the tiny plaza. There were people bleeding from cuts by all the broken glass, some had broken bones caused by all the flying debris and were moaning with limbs at odd angles. Dean and Sam moved amongst them all and treated who they could as best as they could. When the wail of the sirens finally announced help had arrived a considerable amount of people were dazed but now ambulatory.

They were just finishing up with a man who'd been blinded in one eye; Dean had used the last of the water to make a compress he'd pressed over it until the man could see. The near hysterical man was squinting up at Sam when Bobby caught up with them.

Bobby had seen their hail beaten car skewed on the road as he drove into the strike zone and had hastily pulled over and begun his own search and rescue for the boys.

He found them standing on either side of a man in a blood stained shirt who was thanking them over and over again as he held a compress over one eye.

"Sam, Dean are you alright?" Bobby frantically asked as he scanned the destroyed area around them.

"Yeah, the Twister just missed us." Sam answered

Bobby grabbed the younger man by the elbow and motioned with his head for Dean to follow. "THAT was no ordinary act of nature boy!" he hissed as he led them back to the vehicles.

Dean's eyes went wide as the meaning of Bobby's words sunk in. "Lilith?"

"Damned Straight!" Bobby snapped back. "This is the kind of weird weather signs Rufus was talking about."

Sam gently shrugged his elbow out of Bobby's grasp and said, "Do you think she knows we're here?"

"I dunno did you boys do anything that would announce your presence?" Bobby growled.

Dean looked guiltily back at the ambulances and Bobby followed his stare noting some people on the stretchers were talking animatedly with the EMT's and pointing back in their direction.

"OH, that's just fine!" he gruffed.

"Well, we couldn't let them die or suffer if we could help!" Dean argued and Sam stood next to his brother a small scowl of agreement on his face.

Bobby sighed and rubbed his hand over his face saying, "I understand but now she's got your scent and that bitch is fixin to hunt you two down."

As the two young men shifted on their feet trying not to meet his gaze Bobby felt the old familiar tug of war in his heart that those two always evoked that of wanting to hug 'em and kick their asses at the same time.

"Is that wreck still drivable?" he nodded over at the Impala.

"Hell Yeah" Dean turned defending his 'Baby'.

"Well, saddle up we're not stoppin for anything but pit stops till we git just ousida Eudora then we'll see about gettin some food before we go on to the safe house." Bobby said.

"Yes, sir" the two men said in unison. Bobby just rolled his eyes and hurried back to his truck and so they began their convoy toward safety.

wWwWw

Dean woke when the music stopped playing. Sammy had taken his turn at the wheel and had kept the music playing just loud enough for his brother to hear as they drove. Dean always slept better when the music was on. But as the hours wore on Sam had turned the sound down lower and lower and then finally off. And that's when Dean roused groggily from sleep. They passed many cars and trucks that had fared about as well as the Impala along the route. Plenty were covered in dings and busted out windows from the rash of tornados that had sprung up this afternoon.

Dean squinted out the passenger's side window and said, "I'd like to own the body shop in this area!" as he eyed the wasted vehicles driving along. " Lookit all the business around here" He smiled over at Sam.

Grim faced his brother answered, "Yeah, at least ours won't stick out so bad from the rest of the civilians." And that wiped the grin off Dean's face.

"Don't worry Babe," Dean cooed to his vehicle as he patted the dash, "We'll get you fixed up good as new again you'll see." And he winked over a Sam.

Sam just shook his head at the way Dean could lighten the tension. "You should have seen the look on your face Dude when we got out to look at he car and you saw the damage. I thought you were gonna cry or kill someone."

Dean turned to him, his face grown serious and said, "Hey, nobody screws with my loved ones and lives to brag about it!"

Sam smirked and asked, "What, you're gonna take on the wind?"

Dean just huffed and stared out at Bobby's taillights in front of them.

wWwWw

They pulled into the parking lot of Dora's Home style Restaurant just outside of Lawrence and followed Bobby inside.

Dora's had a reputation for good food and well used beds in the motel complex connected to it. The rooms were often rented by the hour and no self-respecting daughter from Lawrence or Eudora would let her self get caught patronizing the scandalous place referred to as the "Chew and Screw".

But the establishment also boasted of uncompromised discretion. Every table sat in it's own sound proof room, no camera's or recording devises were allowed and the scantily clad wait staff buzzed to enter as you would any high security area. Many a high level deal by government officials or visiting diplomats had been struck in those comfortably appointed and secret preserving dining rooms.

And the food was actually good. However, Hunters didn't frequent there that often as Dora's only accepted cash but tonight was Bobby's treat.

While Bobby ordered them a table Sam cast furtive glances at the lush decor and the smiling female staff members who giggled and coyly put hands to their lips, blowing kisses and winking at the tall, shy, hansom man in their midst's. Dean's head swiveled as his eyes tried to drink in every possible lovely thing that posed and simpered for his attention. His smile growing wider with each "pick me" glance they gave him.

But his attention was rudely interrupted by a tug on his sleeve. Sam nodded that a table was ready and an audible sigh of disappointment murmured by the attendants was left in their wake, as they moved to their room.

Once seated, their buxom waitress buzzed to enter and filled water glasses making sure to brush the hands of each one of them and bend over real low to place the menus on the tables. She gushed and bubbled through the reciting of the specials then left discretely.

Dean turned to Bobby and said, "Gee thanks, but it's not even my Birthday!"

Bobby snapped back, "Try to Focus Boy!" And Sam looked quickly down at the tablecloth trying not to laugh.

"Well, believe it or not I've never been here before" Dean shot back a somewhat hurt tone. "But it sure is shaping up to live up to it's reputation!" he added with a wink to his brother.

Even Bobby had to smirk at that. "I came here with you two for two reasons, and neither of them have to do with the, ah...deserts offered." His face turned serious.

Disappointment plainly registered on Dean's face but he asked, "So why are we here?"

Bobby smiled and shook his head. "For one thing the food here is pretty damn good and I figured it might be nice to get one good meal under our belts before we get holed up for... who knows how long. And the other thing is the recent Intel I got from Rufus isn't looking so good."

The buzzer sounded and 'Bambi' or 'Bunni' came in and took their orders. When she bent across in front of him, nearly pressing her cleavage onto Dean's plate, he rolled his eyes and gripped the edge of the table, '_ I will not whimper in front of the guys, I will not whimper'_ Dean thought as she reached across to straighten the condiment tray in front of Sam. The youngest hunter couldn't take his eyes off the set of double "DD's" brushing across the cloth and heading his way and Bobby had a fine view of her caboose.

After she straightened and left the older Winchester opened up his eyes and let out an audible sigh that made Sam and Bobby say "Whew!" at the same time. Dean cocked his head to one side and laughed saying to no one inparticular, "Yes indeed!"

After a respectful pause Bobby and Sam grabbed their beer bottles and were about to drink when Dean said, "Wait a minute, pass me your glasses of water."

They pushed the glasses over in front of him and he dipped his pinky finger in each making a quick swirl in the water. He wagged his eyebrows at them saying, "Stirred not shaken" then he passed them back.

Dean then picked his glass up and toasted, "To protecting the women folk!"

Bobby and Sam smiled broadly and lifted up their glasses too. "To protecting the women folk!" And all three clinked together each taking a sip of their blessed water and basking in the moment of camaraderie hunters rarely get to share.

After Sam set his glass down he asked Bobby, "What did Rufus have to say?"

Bobby sighed and said, "According to all the signs Rufus thinks that there's an epicenter forming and it's shaping up to be right over Lawrence."

Sam glanced over at his brother who was staring intently at Bobby. And he nudged him in the ribs.

"Ow, what?" Dean scowled at his little brother.

"Tell him about your dream Dean." Sam gave him serious nod. And his older brother looked down at his hands not knowing where to begin with this 'cause this was going to tear Bobby up some fur sure.

Bobby let less than half a minute of silence pass as he read the conflict that played across the older Winchester's face.

Then he asked "You havin' premonitions boy?" He softly said. 'Cause if you've got some Intel to offer it'd sure be nice if we were all on the same page."

Dean looked up at him and Bobby was greeted with tear swollen hazel eyes. "I saw what is going to happen...to Sam" He choked out. And he proceeded to tell the man he now regarded as a father all his fears about the events foretold in his dream.

Bobby listened, occasionally putting his hand on the arm of the man he'd watch grow up to be the bravest, stubbornessed, most deeply passionate man he was proud to say he knew; when ever Dean had to stop and fight back the emotions before he could go on. That was about as chick flick as Bobby ever got and air in the room was getting pretty dam thick for every one right now.

When he sensed Dean was done Bobby took a deep breath and turned his eyes to Sam. And Sam felt the full weight of their stare. Bobby's brows knit together and he spoke slowly and softly to him. "You got anything to add?"

Dean looked up to Sam and nodded once, some silent message being passed between the two and Sam looked back to Bobby and said shakily, "Yeah"

The words came spilling out of him as if he couldn't stop talking. Sam told the older hunter of his plan to turn if Lilith ever came knockin' and there was no other way because...' and that's when Bobby heard about the Deal still being intact and that not one but both of the boys souls were poised to go to Hell unless this plan worked.

Bobby sat and clenched and unclenched his fists his lips pressed together in a fine line as his eyes went from one then the other of the young men across from him. For only the second time in their lives they saw the older mans lip tremble and suddenly he got up and ripped the cap off his head threw it on the floor shouting "Dammit all to Hell!" the air seemed to vibrate with his anger and rage at the dad blamed unfairness of it all.

Bobby ran his hands through his hair and his mind seethed, '_hadn't these boys been asked to sacrifice enough already? They'd had so many things ripped away from them, their mother, their childhoods, their father, any hope of finding love that stayed, love that could make up for all the hurt their bodies have had to suffer, all the holes in their hearts that have and go un-patched... and this was what it all came to? A Deal that wouldn't go away and a taint that was undeserved and threatened to open up the maw of Hell and swallow them both up whole? And for what so that demon bitch Lilith could ride upon the back of mankind and make bitches of us all?'_

He took one long ragged inhale and squared his shoulders. His eyes were lit with fire and bright with tears. Then he turned to look at the worried faces of the two men sitting at the table and sat down himself saying, "Boys, I think it's time we stood our ground and fought back."

Sam and Dean each let out the breath they'd been holding and they realized at that moment that they loved this man now more than ever.

The buzzer sounded and the door opened to fill the room with delicious aromas and several skimpily dressed girls who busily set about giggling and placing piping hot plates in front of each hunter teasing about which was hotter, the dishes serving or the serving dishes. That got a smile and nod from the men and once the girls left they stared at the tempting food each man thinking that this would be the best meal of his life.

And possibly his last.

To be continued...Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapt

Chapt. 5 Without Sin

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just love'em. Wished ta 'ell I worked for Kripke

wWwWw

The old Cardinal couldn't believe it, all his life he's prayed for a miracle and the job he's had as 'Vatican Debunker' as he called it had been seen by him as penance for the vanity of wishing such a thing could happen in his lifetime but here it was, undeniable proof and if it was the last thing on earth he would have that proof safely ensconced inside the protective walls of the Vatican. He was carrying a small square of cloth inside a thin plastic business card holder. It had a dark brown stain on one corner of it and seemed to be made of shirt material. The Cardinal's fingers absentmindedly stroked the plastic case as he made his way to baggage at the airport. Father Michaelson was to pick him up and take him to the man, once they found him, and surely the urgent persuasion he'd use to reason with him would make him see that this was so much bigger than family needs or any other personal reasons he might have for resisting the Vatican's offer.

The Cardinal had just found his bag when he felt a small touch on his hand. He turned and looked down to see the most adorable little boy looking soberly up at him. "You made it just in time" the boy said.

Curious thing for a child to say to a total stranger he thought smiling and then the boy opened his mouth again as if to speak but black smoke or what appeared to be black smoke poured out from it and hit the Cardinal right in his face. The last thing he remembered was the smell of sulfur and the screaming that turned out to be his own.

When Father Mick arrived he was so pleased to see his old friend and Mentor that he ran up to him to give him a big hug and was surprised that the man hesitated to hug him back. Well maybe since he was elevated to Cardinal such plebian displays of affection are considered unseemly and he stepped back to drink in the appearance of his old friend.

"Father, uh Cardinal Tomas" he said,

"Father Michaelson" nodded the older man smiling back.

"Here let me take that for you," he said as he grabbed the bags handle and fell in step beside his old friend.

"I've just become privy to some new information, regarding the whereabouts of the man we seek" the Cardinal said as they walked back to the car. "I know where to find him."

"Praise God!" Exhaled Father Mick as he loaded the bag in the trunk.

"Yes, well, I'll give you directions as we drive' responded the Cardinal coolly.

wWwWw

As Bobby and the Winchesters pulled up to the rusted gates of the old factory complex a flood of memories came back to Sam and Dean. They'd known this place during the frequent times their Dad had them stay at their Aunt's and Uncles place over in Eudora, a place just out side of the town they'd fled... after the fire.

The first few years until Dean was a teen and Sam could ride his bike without trainers they'd peddle over to it and explore the vacant buildings and play in the empty streets on the factory grounds. There, away from the protective eyes of their Uncle and Aunt, they practiced hunting each other. To Sammy it was just a good place for intense games of hide and seek, that was before Dean told him about what their Dad did for a living.

But after he learned, Sam insisted Dean train him too and they would spend the time there practicing the drills their father had left Dean for 'homework' during the long months he was away on hunts himself. Dean knew the layout of this place so well that he could be blindfolded and still find his way around.

At least he thought that until Bobby stopped his truck in front of the old Fluorescent Light plant and they walked inside. This building had undergone a change. On the outside it looked just about the way they'd remembered it, a little worse for wear, but on the inside just past the lobby the signs of Rufus's improvements became evident as they noticed security cameras silently swivel to track their movements.

Bobby put his thumb on the pad beside the door and with a hiss it opened. They stepped inside and were amazed by what they saw. The place looked like an expensive loft apartment full of high-tech gear and packed with enough equipment and supplies to last a siege.

Dean looked around the room and sucked in air to say,"Holy..."

"Crap!" Bobby finished as a fax machine suddenly stuttered out a message.

"What is it Bobby?" asked Sam as he followed Bobby's gaze to the print out. The older man strode over to the fax, and with a stricken look on his face passed the paper to Sam.

Dean came over and held one corner allowing both Winchesters to read the words together.

GROUND ZERO- IF YOU'RE READING THIS IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE-

"Is this from Rufus or Lilith?" Dean asked.

"Doesn't matter" Bobby answered. 'Sam, Dean get every thing we brought in here now!"

As the boys hustled to bring in their goods Bobby set about to locate some vital equipment on his own.

wWwWw

It was amazing to see the supplies for any need in Rufus's storeroom. That's where Bobby found the transfusion kit.

"Why would he think he needed that?" Sam asked

"Rufus is a man who plans for any contingency" Bobby's answered as he held up the plastic pint bag and dangling tubes that soon would hold Dean's blood.

They all had agreed back at the restaurant their first step in preparing for Lilith would be to modify as many of their weapons to demon killing ones by putting Dean's blood in or on any that they could. So taking the transfusion kit they adjourned to one of the bedrooms.

Dean took off his flannel shirt leaving on the black Metallica T then lay down on the bed. Bobby gave him a tennis ball to squeeze as he applied a tourniquet to his upper arm. The older Winchester knew the drill and flexed his forearm until the vein on the inside of his elbow plumped. Dean's eyes registered a momentary look of doubt as he looked up to Bobby and said in a voice too soft for Sam to hear, "you know I'm just me, I don't feel any different." The older man looked back down on the face he'd watch grow up and whispered, "I know son, you just have to find a way make room for who you are. …And this too." Dean looked away and blinked slowly.

Bobby glanced over to Sam who leaned on the doorway. Sam raised his eyebrows in a 'better you than me' look back at him 'cause he knew all too well his brother's distaste for needles of any kind.

His big brother could charge into a burning building, face down things from your worst nightmares but getting stuck with needles was not one of the things Dean Winchester did without reservation. Bobby swabbed the site and Sam watched helplessly as Dean turned his head toward him to grimace when Bobby expertly slipped the needle in and the deep red fluid began to flow down the tube and fill the pint bag by his wrist.

"You know what creeps me out the most about this?" Dean asked Bobby who was keeping his eyes on the flow.

"What?"

"That I can feel the heat commin' off the bag and know it's because its just fresh outta me." He said turning a bit nauseous at the thought.

Bobby huffed in response with a slow smile on his lips, " but you're still on board with it being used all over the weapons... just so long as it's cold right?" then closed the bag off, removed the needle and placed a cotton ball over the puncture site.

Dean put pressure on the cotton and said, "Yeah, and it's only a pint at a time" he made to laugh but felt queasiness over take him and he weaved as he sat up. Sam was there in an instant to brace his shoulders till the room stopped spinning.

Dean smirked and said, "Yeah, give me a minute...Whoa...don't I get a cookie or somthin?"

Sam smiled mischievously and said, "Sure as soon as you can tell me how many finger's I'm holding up" And he held up held up two, then moved his hand back and forth.

Dean gave him a mild glare and said, " Not funny Dude."

wWwWw

Bobby went out into the kitchen carrying the warm bag of Dean's blood and poured half the contents into a stainless steel bowl. He placed the half empty bag in the fridge and carried the bowl over to the table.

They went immediately to their weapons cache and began to select the ones that could best deliver the most lethal dose of Dean's precious blood to the demon.

It was indeed an odd and somewhat gruesome sight to see a bowl of his own blood sitting in the middle of the table and the collection of gear beside it.

Dean looked again at the bowl and curled his lip slightly.

But he grabbed the ammo pack of shotgun shells and began to open each one and pour the lead beads into a waiting canister. The hard tinny sound of clattering shot pinging into the metal container prompted Sam to take all the knives they owned and dip the tips one by one into the viscous red fluid. Bobby found Rufus's cache of arrows and dunked each one deep so that the blood soaked into the grooves along the joint where tip met shaft. Once all the shot had been dumped into the canister Dean took the bowl that held his cooling blood and poured enough in to coat the shot. He set the bowl back down in the center of the table, picked up the metal container with both hands and began to slowly swirl the shot around making sure to coat every bead. All this was done without conversation, each man lost to his own thoughts about the battle to come; the only sound was the metal swoosh of the buckshot as it whooshed around and around in the red liquid that clung to the sides and pooled on the bottom of the canister. When all of the blood from the bowl was used up the men stood back and took in the macabre sight of red stained weapons lying on the table before them.

"Well, I could use a beer" Bobby sighed as he looked at their armory. It wasn't nearly enough. They'd have to risk going into town to get more shells for the shot guns, more arrows at least and anything else they could think of to deliver the only weapon they knew would work.

Sam said, " Me too" at the beer offer. And then remembering Dean, who stood looking down at the floor quietly, changed his mind, "Actually, I just want water, how 'bout you?" he asked his brother.

Wishing he could join them in a beer Dean slowly drawled, "Yeah..I guess."

Bobby looked over at Dean as he raised the bottle to his lips, "Speaking 'bout that, shouldn't you be swirling your arm in a bath tub filled with water just about now?"

"Shucks, and I forgot the Calgon." Dean snarked back.

Bobby pulled the beer from his lips and barked, "Don't you sass me boy, we gotta get up to speed as of Yesterday and that includes havin' a stock of Holy water on hand. Now git your ass into the bathroom and start drawing a tub of water!"

"Bobby, look maybe he's tired... he just gave blood..." Sam countered.

"Yeah and no cookie" Dean smirked.

Bobby leveled his gaze on Sam and said, "Well then you can draw the bath water for him if he's so delicate" A sparkle glinted behind his eyes as he teased the older Winchester.

Dean smirked, and as they both walked down the hall, he reached up to clap his hand on his little brothers shoulder. Bobby over heard their voices fading as Dean said, "Hey dude, I am feeling a little achy what if I just take a hot soak, the water should be just as blessed with my ass in it as my finger, right?"

"Dude!" Sam yelped, " I'm not drawin' you a hot bath so you can soak your junk in the Holy water"

Beer foam nearly blew out of Bobby's nose with that comment.

From the doorway to the bathroom both Dean and Sam stood quietly listening; waiting for the sputter and muffled consternation that came from the kitchen. "Good ol' Bobby" they both smiled and nodded at each other.

Sam pushed the door open and went over to draw the bath. He stoppered the tub, turned the tap on full and was checking the temp when Dean walked over to the toilet and looked down at it for a second. "Hey, d' ya suppose my piss would be Holy water too?"

"I am NOT storing your piss in flasks Dean and don't even think of telling Bobby you thought of it" Sam said in mock horror back at his brother.

"No not flasks, we could get..squirt guns! YEAH!" Dean's eyes sparkled as he grinned at Sam. They'd had some righteous squirt gun fights here when they were kids. "Serve the Bitch right to be the one be'in pissed on for a change!"

Sam laughed and shook his head. How did Dean do it, here they were facing death-, yet again, facing Hell-yet again and his brother had this ability to find humor in the darkest things.

Dean flipped the lid down and sat, he really did need to sit and that weakness worried him. "I was just messin' with ya, Sammy," he said as he watched the tub fill. "Although that tub does looks inviting," he teased.

Sam rolled his eyes and rechecked the temp. He didn't want his brother to suffer even the smallest of inconveniences like too cold water as he gave and gave again more of himself to this battle.

After the tub was as full as possible Dean kneeled down on the mat and plunged his arm in, silently thanking Sam for making sure the water's temp was just right, and he began to stir it slowly around. "I got it from here Sam" he said. And watched as his brother turned to go but before Sam left he pointed to Dean and said in a loud enough voice for Bobby to hear, "The clothes stay on Dude!" And they both smirked as another sputter was heard from the kitchen.

Having your arm stuck in a tub of body temperature water past the elbow can have an effect on people and after a while Dean was feeling that effect. So he got up grabbed a towel and wiped his arm down and moved over to the toilet. But before he flipped the lid and seat up he opened the medicine cabinet above the tank. And sure enough found what he was looking for. "Rufus you ARE always prepared" he said a loud.

Dean came back into the kitchen to find Bobby wiping up a beer spill on the counter and muttering to himself.

"Look what I found in the bath room cabinet." Dean said as he plunked the small container on the table. It was a plastic specimen jar the kind used for urine tests and it was marked "sulfur" on the label. "Now we can test the strength of the Holy water, I've never made a tub of the stuff before." He shrugged.

"Sam see if you can find me some tin foil for the table, I don't want to put the sulfur directly on it since the wood's got some of my blood on it and that might effect the test."

Sam raised his eyebrows and nodded, it made sense. He quickly brought back a square of the shinny metal wrap and placed it on the table.

Dean sprinkled a line of yellow powder from the container onto the center and then looked at Sam and said, "Dude, I forgot to bring the water could you...?"

Sam rolled his eyes, grabbed a glass from the cabinet and strode off down the hall. When he was out of sight Dean walked over to Bobby and said in a low voice, "We need to talk."

Bobby straightened up noting the seriousness in Dean's tone. "I think that you should save the rest of the blood for camo, smear it on yourself when the demons show up. They won't dare touch you and maybe my scent on you can confuse them for a while."

Bobby couldn't hide his disgust at the idea and pulled a face that told Dean it was the last thing he'd want to do. "That's not gonna hap.. but Dean interrupted. "You have to Man, it's the only way I can know you're protected when the shit goes down!" Bobby could see the pleading in Dean's eyes, it was so hard to see that look, it was just as bad as the time he begged Bobby not to tell his brother about the deal and then some, because now Dean was pleading for Bobby to save himself.

Bobby looked down at the floor, "Promise me Man, promise me you'll do this thing?" Dean asked again he reached out grabbed Bobby's shoulder and squeezed it for emphasis. Bobby looked up from the floor and locked eyes with Dean once more then without saying anything nodded briefly.

"Thanks Man it'll take a load off my mind." And Dean clapped his friend on the shoulder just as Sam entered the room holding the glass of water.

"What?" Sam said as he saw Dean move from Bobby toward him.

"Nothin'" Dean answered continuing toward the table. Sam walked up beside him and began to tilt the glass over the sulfur on the foil when "Crack!" The glass shattered and water and glass fell onto the table. He and Dean leapt back shocked. And the smoke and smell of burnt sulfur filled the air as what little water hit the sample did its work.

Dean's eyes went wide with surprise and fear, "I didn't do that!" He said to Sam and Bobby who stood dumfounded a few feet behind them.

The floor began to tremble and then the walls started to shake, it was like an earthquake was starting to build. The three men were looked franticly everywhere around them then suddenly Sam stood straight uttering one word.

"Lilith"

He looked at Dean and Bobby and said, "She's here."

He grabbed a bowie knife coated with Dean's blood off the table and started to head to the door.

Dean grabbed for his arm but missed and only managed to snag a corner of his flannel shirt, "Wait, you're just goin' out there?" "no PLAN?" Dean's eyes got even wider, almost desperate.

Sam looked back at him and his face pinched for a moment when he spoke softly, "This has always been the plan Dean" For a space of two heart beats the brothers stood looking at one another then Dean let go of the corner of Sam's shirt.

Sam said, "See you..." and turned to go.

Dean quickly added, "but not in Hell."

"Not if I can help it." replied Sam with a sad smile and pulled the security door closed. The solid 'click-chunk' of the lock echoed filling the silence between the two remaining men in the room.

wWwWw

The priest had just pulled into the gas station on the insistence of his friend Cardinal Tomas. It seemed like an unsavory place to make a rest stop what with all the chopped motorcycles and bikers hanging around but the Cardinal had assured him they'd be protected by the Lord during their most Holy mission. But after the Cardinal had left the car Father Michelson had reflected on those words. It was something about the way his friend had said them. They had had a hollow ring to them.

The Cardinal made his way to the men's room in the seedy gas station. He pushed the door open and his nose was immediately assaulted by three equally strong smells of urine, vomit and pine. He walked up to the two stalls and noted the scuffed biker boots protruding beneath each stall door. He waited by the sink making a pretense of washing his hands as the toilet flushed from stall number one and a wiry tattooed man with a huge mustache came out to join him at the sink. No words were exchanged and with a nod the biker left. Then the Cardinal walked over and kicked in the door of the second stall and a surprised an angry giant of a man sitting inside. But fear replaced anger as soon as the Cardinal blinked his eyes and nothing but a void of utter blackness dwelt within. Before the man could respond the Cardinal reached in and with a quick twist snapped his neck then reached down and pulled the gun out from the dead mans pants and tucked it under his vestments.

"Well, that was quick" Father Mick said as the Cardinal soberly eased himself back into the car.

"Yes, I did not wish to linger. The smell in there alone was bad enough to have warranted an exorcism," The Cardinal said to him with a little smile. And they pulled the car back out onto the highway and headed to Eudora.

wWwWw

The moment Sam crossed the threshold and stepped outside the world spun. He found himself pinned up against the side of a building that he recognized as being far away from Rufus's stronghold in the complex.

_Ok, take stock of the situation_, he thought. _Can't move-check. Knife still in my hand-check. Still breathing-check. That doesn't make sense. She's got me dead to rights, why let me keep the knife?_

Then he heard the bubbling laughter, it was all around him, it felt beside him, below him even above him but no body-no Lilith...yet.

"Why Sammy Winchester, we meet again" This time the voice was in front of him. Then the air began to shimmer and she/it was there in all her disgusting glory. No host body; just the real deal and she was revolting to look at. Since she was the holder of all deals and all the deals were made from misery and death she looked the part.

Liliths true form was that of a rotting corpse. The face of the corpse was missing and in its place was a slide show, of sorts, of all the faces of every soul she owned in Hell. The flickering images changed rapidly and Sam found it hard to concentrate on what the she demon was saying as he watched each new wretched soul flash up upon her face. They all were screaming but no sound came from them just silent contorted pain as they were tortured. The only sound was Lilith's cold emotionally empty child like voice droning on about winning some war.

Then he saw one face that made his heart stop, Dean's. His brother's face was twisted up in agony and Sam didn't need to hear the scream to known what he was saying, he could clearly read his lips, he was calling his name over and over between yells and piteous cries of pain. Dean had been calling out to him.

It was at that moment that something in Sam changed. It was like a switch had been flipped on. Lilith saw it too and stopped walking toward him. He felt himself glare at her and suddenly his arms were free. Lilith took a step back then she was gone. "Sammy can't catch me, Sammy can't catch me," the singsong voice teased. And Sam thought, "The Hunt is on."

wWwWw

Maybe a minute passed by, maybe it was only thirty seconds when Dean finally said, "Fuck this." opened up the door and went up to the big glass window in the lobby area to look for Sam.

Putting his hand above his eyes against the glare of the sun he looked up and down the empty streets but couldn't see him. Just then out of the corner of his eye he saw movement, it was too low to be the tall frame of his brother. But as he watched his horror grew.

"Awwww shit." His shoulders slumped; the dismay in his voice was almost palpable, as he looked out at the army Lilith had chosen to fight her battle.

Bobby had never heard that sound of fear and revulsion in Dean's voice before and it had him scared.

Expecting the worst things imaginable that the bowls of Hell could throw at them Bobby hissed, "What is it Boy what's the bitch got coming at us?"

There was a pause from Dean and then he turned looked back at Bobby with such sadness in his eyes and said, "It's children... She's using children to fight her war."

"Aw Hell," Bobby groaned and joined Dean at the window. The rag tag group of a dozen or so little bodies walked with unblinking eyes toward the front of their building. The oldest one among them was no more than eight.

_Same age as Sammy was the last time we where here_ thought Dean and he swallowed hard to see the littlest ones trying to keep up.

Bobby glanced from the children to their stockpile of weapons on the table. Dean followed his gaze. "Guess we won't be needing those, " he said.

"Like Hell!" Bobby barked.

"We're not going to kill children," Dean barked back.

"That's just what the bitch would expect you to say Dean, doncha see she's playing to your weakness," Bobby said through clenched teeth, " it's gonna buy her more time and get you...us killed faster."

Dean looked down then back at the possessed kids stumbling and shuffling toward them.

"What are you sayin Bobby? We play it smart and blow 'em away? We'd be playing even more into her hands if we go that route'coz we'd loose our humanity." In a low growl Dean added, "we'd be no better than her."

"Well, I'm not goin' out there and tell 'em they got a time out!" Bobby snapped back. There's still a demon in every one of 'em and even the littlest'll throw you twenty feet in the air just as soon as lookitcha" AND that'll tear up those little arms of the bodies those bastards are ridin in but they'll have'em do it anyway!"

Dean winced at the thought of how much damage had already been done to these innocents and made up his mind that he wasn't gonna add to it.

Of all the obscene things for Lilith to do...to rape the innocent lives of children with the filth of demon spawn. It cut too close to home. Well, not on the home field, not this time... not...ever...again. His jaw set and his face a mask of rage "We won't kill 'em, we can save 'em Bobby." And Bobby looked onto Dean's face and saw heat begin to radiate off the man before him.

Dean moved to the weapons on the table and he and Bobby looked down at all the gear they had prepared, most of it useless now. They scanned the table any way for something they could work with. "We still gotta get the blood inside them but the delivery system can't be fatal." He said.

Bobby shook his head, "That eliminates every thing on the table."

Dean covered his mouth with his hand eyes still roving the table of weapons, mind thinking. _Gotta pierce the flesh, but just surface wounds then deliver the blood to those woundsdead demon and alive children_.

"What can we do that would graze 'em, scratch 'em up a bit you know deliver a shallow wound only?"

Bobby scratched his head, "good ol'rock salt'll give 'em a mighty sting and scratch 'em up but even at close range it's not lethal."

"Rufus HAS to have a supply of that lying around." Dean stated.

"Wouldn't be Rufus if he didn't" Bobby smiled.

"You go find that and load our shot guns," Dean said as he headed down the hall to the back door.

"Where're you goin? Bobby yelled after him.

"I gotta go find the delivery system," Dean shouted back over his shoulder as he exited. _Now I just hope it's still where I left it_. he mused as he quietly slipped out and headed to the building that used to be their old clubhouse.

wWwWw

Dean crept along the buildings edge peering carefully around each corner. There were no signs of any other children or any other manifestations of demons as far as he could see. So he quickly ducked inside and climbed the creaking stairs of the old candy factory and made his way to the office at the back. The summer heat still brought out the sweet smells of sugar; mint and cinnamon emanating from countless past spills of ribbon candy on the old wooden floorboards. And the old familiar smell brought memories back.

_Hurry Dean hurry_! he could still hear the sound of Sammy's voice as a child, his breathless laughter in his head when they were kids, from the many times they'd run the length of this factory in games of tag or just from the plain fun of running. _And now kids are here again, walking the same streets they had but... not for fun; Sammy's here too, God the fuck knows where,_ and Dean's gut clenched knowing every second he was apart from him could be the last second of his precious brother's life on earth.

He went to the far wall, the bookshelf was still there, that was encouraging, he pushed it aside amazed at how easily it moved for his 'adult strong' arms now. The crude hex sign was still on the newer plaster that covered the hole they'd stored their 'weapons' cache in years ago. Their Aunt and Uncle forbade them from using any kind of gun in the house so this is where they'd kept 'em.

Dean punched through the thin plaster and felt around for what he'd hidden oh so many years ago and nearly wept when his desperate clawing bumped his fingers onto the prize he searched for. He pulled it into the light and in his hand was the plastic water pistol he'd left there half a lifetime ago. He quickly took out his pocketknife and drilled its point into the pinhole nozzle widening it further. 'Cause what he planed to shoot out of it was as the saying goes 'Thicker than Water.'

wWwWw

He got back to Bobby just as the first rock was thrown at the glass front window. Its impact cracked the glass in a crazy scrawl of lines and angles. Dean ran to the fridge and grabbed the bag of blood; popped open the plastic reservoir in the gun's handle grip, filled it, stoppered it back up and tossed the bag to Bobby.

Bobby caught the bag one handed and looked back at Dean.

"You promised, man." Dean said tilting his head at him.

Bobby looked at the bag in his hand and curled his lip, he looked back at Dean. When the second rock hit Dean ran out to the lobby area. "Hurry up Bobby they all got rocks now." Dean yelled. Bobby opened the bag and poured some of the contents into his hand. He set the bag down on the table and began to apply the cold thickened liquid onto his hair, face, arms, shirt and pants. When he was done he looked the victim of a fatal crash. But it was just in time because the last rock thrown shattered the glass in a shower that sprayed across Dean as he ducked and covered his eyes.

An instant later when Dean rose up from his protective crouch, he was covered in blood too, his own from all the tiny scratches the flying shards inflicted. He shuddered inside as he looked down at his bloody arms; _It's just like in m'dream_ !

The roar of Bobby's shot broke Dean from his stupor as the first child fell down at his feet. High pitched wails that came from the little girls writhing body stunned his ears and heart but he aimed the plastic weapon nonetheless and gently squeezed the plunger back. A thin red line crossed the distance between himself and the child and landed on her chest. As soon as it struck the screams changed from the child's to an unearthly bellow and her tiny form lit up from the inside as she jerked spastically on the glass-strewn floor. Then stillness overcame her. The next three were upon him. One jumped on his back and tried to strangle him from behind two of the smaller ones grabbed a leg each and bit them hard. "Ahhhgghhhh! Sonofabitch!" Dean grabbed the one off his back and the boy hit the floor hard landing in a pile of glass, the child put up his blooded hands and started to charge Dean again but the stream of red hit his little hands instead and he went down in guttural howls and bright piercing lights. As soon as the other kid's teeth clamped onto Deans flesh through the jeans and drew blood the little attackers grabbed at their mouths like they'd been scalded and jumped off of him. They didn't get far when the shaking and pulsing lights took over and they fell amongst the writhing mound of bodies that began to cover the floor of the room. As fast as Bobby could pull the trigger and reload, their attackers found out that what the salt didn't do, the mine field of glass on the floor did and Dean found himself spinning around shooting spurts of demon death with every turn. Until the action stopped and the moaning took over.

Little scrunched up eyes shed real tears as the children that littered the floor cried out for their mommies and daddies to come get them. And their heart wrenching cries took all the adrenaline right out from the two hunters.

Dean moved over to one of the little ones that had bitten him and gently felt for a pulse-it was there thready but there. He stuck the squirt gun in the back of his jeans and scooped the little form up in his arms. _That's the second time in twenty-four hours I've held a child in m'arms _he thought _and this one's just as light as that other one was_. He moved quickly to the bathroom and kneeling placed the toddler carefully in the water. Propping her head from behind with one hand he scooped a handful of water and gently splashed it over her wounds. Dirt and glass splinters fell from her skin and she began to stir. MMMMmmmmawww! The cry burst from her little lungs and Dean plucked her from the water and wrapped her in a towel. "Shhh, Shhhh, Shhh it's alright, you're ok now," he soothed as he wiped her tears and smudgy nose with the edge of the towel. Bobby came in with one under each arm and in quick order they 'cleansed' wrapped and moved the children to the panic room located at the center of the stronghold. Once the last child was out of the tub and his damp clothes were being patted dry by Bobby; Dean turned to go.

"I gotta find Sam" he said.

Bobby looked up from his kneeling position as he wrapped the shaking boy's body with a warm blanket. "Didn't Sam say he wanted you no where near him when he turned?"

"Yeah, but he's already done that by now, I gotta go see if he's alright...I gotta...go" Dean said.

"That's not a plan that's suicide!" Bobby stood up and scowled.

"Then it's suicide,' And Dean took one step when Bobby moved fast and stood in his way. Bobby had lost each boy once already and he was not standing by to watch that happen again.

Practically vibrating with his anger he growled loudly at Dean and the older Winchester stood back coz Bobby looked at this moment taller, meaner and stronger than Dean had ever seen the man, and it frightened him a little, until he saw the tears begin to well at the corners of his friends eyes.

"You are the most godammed idgit ever to grace this planet, didja know that? That speech you gave me and your brother the last time our nuts were to the walls about not spreading it for these demons was the ONLY sensible thing I've ever heard a Winchester to utter in all the years I've known ya and that includes your father!"

Dean gulped back his own tears as he stared wide-eyed at the man who was like a father to him now.

"Now if you think I'm gonna let you storm outta here half cocked right into the arms of that bitch you musta suffered some brain damage that has hereto for been undetected until now. You're... NOT... brain damaged are you BOY?"

Dean responded to the drill sergeant sound so reminiscent of his father in Bobby's voice and he felt himself straighten up and get prepared for a real dressing down. "NO Sir!" he barked and focused his stare three inches above Bobby's left shoulder.

"Damned straight, now you get your emotions under control and we figure this out." Bobby's tone softened just a little. "There haven't been any further signs one way or the t'other so I suspect that Sam an her are scopeing each other out, circling each other looking for an opening. A weakness."

Dean swallowed at the word 'weakness' and he looked into Bobby's eyes. Jeeze! He took in a long breath and let it out slowly. He knew then that Lilith was waiting for him to do just what he almost did-run out there and distract Sam at a crucial moment and he woulda gotten them both killed.

Bobby stepped forward and without further provocation hugged him and Dean let him, and even hugged him back. Dean Winchester put a grip around Bobby's barrel chest and clung there... for the moment to ride itself out... and he wasn't the first one to pull away either.

Bobby stepped back and tuned to wipe at the grit that had somehow gotten in his eyes and after he re –adjusted his cap faced the man again he called son.

"I'm corralling the kids in the safe room then we're gonna take stock of what we have for weapons AND we're gonna have a PLAN before we leave this building." He said with finality.

"Yes Si.." Dean started but Bobby lifted one eyebrow at the word he was forming.

Dean relaxed his shoulders and sighed, "Yeah, can't help Sam without one, yer right"

With the kids in protective lock down both men walked back to the kitchen and took stock once again of the weapons on the table.

Dean selected his silver knives and tucked them in his boot sheaths. Bobby packed his knife in a side sheath then grabbed the quiver and loaded up the arrows and took the crossbow. Dean swapped out the rock salt shells in his sawed off for the demon killing shot and packed a flask of Holy water tossing Bobby a flask too. Any more weapons and they'd become disadvantaged in hand to hand and they decided to leave the rest in case it came to a barricaded standoff here.

"So," Bobby asked as he cinched the strap on his leg sheath tighter, "any idea where Sam and Lilith most likely will fight their duel?"

Dean had been asking himself just that question the moment Sam stepped out the door but he was drawing a blank. There were just too many possibilities in a place like this. But wait a minute. His dad had always taught him _that if the thing you're huntin' doubles back and starts huntin' you instead, find a place where you are most familiar, get the home field advantage; it's your best shot at surviving if you know the territory better than the quarry does. _

"Yeah, I think I do," The_ Candy Factory _thought Dean and said to him, "I was just there and there wasn't any sign of them but I think Sam would want to go back there to face her."

"Well, lets get going" Bobby said.

"Wait," Dean looked on suddenly so weary, "in m'dream you capture Sam in a special demon lock and we have to...administer my blood to him...to change him back. Do you have a super charged lock design or a exorcism that will bind him long enough for me to...get him to take m'blood?"

Bobby sighed and looked at Dean's hopeful, scared and determined face. "I got a few locks and binding sigils that should work if used together."

Dean glanced over to the crumpled plastic bag holding the remaining blood and said, "If you do them with m'blood it would make them stronger wouldn't it?"

Bobby looked back at the bag and then turned to Dean with a smile, "It sure as hell would." The wry comment put a small smile on Dean too. Bobby grabbed the bag and they both headed out the door.

wWwWw

Father Michelson had done most of the talking. Since the rest stop his friend seemed distracted some how. "Maybe he's just tired' thought Father Mick. Just then the Cardinal sat up straighter and pointed take this turn...NOW! And Father Mick cranked the wheel a sharp right squealing the tires a bit as they turned down the side road that lead to the old Factory Complex. His friend was now suddenly very alert and scanning the road ahead. "Soon" he said, "Our mission will be accomplished soon."

wWwWw

Sam felt like he was growing stronger with each step. He could see it all so clearly now. There was no need to have the human ties he once had, puny, puny humans. What did they know of power such as this; it was unbelievable, he felt like if he wanted to he could reach up and pull one of the stars down to light a fine cigar with. _A cigar_, when this was over he decided he would do just that. It was better, he felt, if he just cut all ties, they could never understand and they'd only hold him back. Dean, he could just see the look of fear, disgust and hate his brother would have for him now that he'd come into his own. Dean would never accept him this way. And he began to suddenly feel something he had never felt about his brother before-shame. He now knew what every other demon knew about his brother, that his big brother was nothing more than a toy, a plaything for lesser demons to learn their craft of torture upon. He didn't even rate the finesse and artful delivery of pain the higher demons could bestow upon the damned. And he felt ashamed to be related to the man. But just for a moment a flutter of conflicting thought occurred deep inside Sam; buried way down in his subconscious a part of him rejected that shame and raged against the thought of ever seeing Dean in pain again. The 'new' Sam shook it off as a temporary lapse of judgment and moved forward toward the taunting voice of his enemy.

wWwWw

Dean and Bobby reached the candy factory and began to set the trap. Using the last of Dean's blood Bobby created the most powerful demon lock he knew. And the two of them covered the design on the floor with the sawdust from the old barrels that were stored there.

"Bobby, I'll wait for him here," said Dean indicating a hiding place behind a jumble of old factory machines, "you go upstairs to the office in the back, its got some old wards still around it that way you could see all the entry ways."

Bobby just shook his head. "There you go thinking with that damaged brain of yours again, I'm staying down here, I'll flank you but I'm gonna be down here at ground zero; I'm not leavin' ya here to stand alone son."

Dean pressed his lips together _Good ol'Bobby_ and nodded once when suddenly a shadow fell upon the bank of windows at the front of the factory and moved toward the front door. In the brief moments Dean saw it he'd knew that shadow anywhere, his brother was about to enter and Dean signaled to Bobby to find cover as he did himself.

Sam swung the door open, stood there turning his head left to right and sniffed the air, "Dean, Dean, Dean remember when we used to play hide and seek here? You'd always win." Sam strode confidently into the vast factory room looking this way and that. "Well, you're not gonna win this time big brother because I can smell your blood."

Dean stood slowly up from his cover to face him. "Sammy?"

His brother turned from the front of the building to look back at him and that's when Dean saw his eyes. They flashed a cold blue fire at first then settled down to the mossy hazel he's always known. "It's Sam." was the empty reply.

Dean's face began to crumple and he felt his heart break. Sammy had turned, turned into the cold heartless thing he'd seen in his dream.

"Of course... Sam..." he answered, "Didja kill Lilith?"

"All in good time big brother, all in good time" Said Sam as he moved closer and Dean took first one then another step back crossing over the sawdust covered design on the floor.

"You're not thinkin' of joining forces with her are ya?

"That bitch, she's an amateur." Said Sam in a slow drawl like he was enjoying saying the words.

Then as if the mention of her name drew her, the room grew cold, and Sam spun around to see Lilith step inside the door.

"Oh, Sammy thank you for leading me right to him." And she held out her hand and sent Dean flying into the far wall pining him there.

Sam lunged at her but the invisible force of the devils lock that Bobby had painted beneath his feet stopped him.

Dean was unprepared to see her in her true form. He had expected that she'd inhabit another poor little girl, but the decaying dried husk she moved in had unnatural grace for a dead thing. Her face, or lack thereof was what kept his eyes fastened to her. The constantly changing images of faces twisted in pain and despair that played across it brought memories of his time in hell slamming back into his mind and numbed his brain as he watched transfixed.

Lilith tilted her head back and uttered horrific peals of laughter. "Oh, and Thank You Dean for being so predictable! Two for one, I'd say that was quite a bargain wouldn't you? And you know how a girl loves a bargain. Now Sammy who should I kill first you or your pitiful brother? I say YOU. With that Lilith raised both her hands and began to speak in an ancient tongue.

'Bring it on Bitch. " Said Sam and he threw the knife. With Dean's blood on it it easily passed through the wards of the lock and sunk deep into her chest. She stopped speaking and looked down at the hilt of the knife protruding from her in surprise. Then looking back up at Sam she gasped out the words, "I give you THIS !" And flung her arms out toward him with a blinding flash of brilliant light and sonic boom of an explosion that rocked the building. Dean was knocked to the ground and scrambled for cover as the old factory vaporized into a mist. He never saw Liliths body quake with the fire of her demise or heard her scream but he knew she was dead.

When he raised his head above the rubble he saw a column of mist where the devils lock had been and he knew his brother was in there. He pushed the fallen debris away as he scrambled up to his feet and walked slowly to the column.

"SAMMY?" "SAM are you ok?"

"Muuhahahah, Oh, Dean do you really think this will stop me? Stop the path I've chosen to take? You can't be that naive?" the voice sounded like Sam's but not the cold mocking tone.

The mist began to clear and Sam's towering form became more solid. But the change in his brother was more than Dean could have imagined. Instead of the blazing blue eyes that Dean had seen Sam have in his dream, Lilith had bestowed a parting 'gift' upon him and had transferred her powers of soul collector to Sammy. When Sam turned to look back at him Dean saw that he no longer had a face but in its place scrolled the contorted images of the damned.

"Sam? Dean whispered, " Part of you still has to be there, that change isn't 100, there's still you in there?" Dean said this more like a wish than a statement.

" I dunno, I feel pretty 100 now. Better than 100, try 3000 or infinitely better than I've ever felt before. You know I'm surprised I didn't do this sooner. What with all the shit crap life we led as kids growing up. The way that dad dragged us from one funky town to another. What kind of life was that?" Sam said bitterly.

But Dean didn't hear anything past the code phrase 'funky town' that Sammy spoke. It was a prearranged message that they used before, for those situations when either one had been held hostage and had been made to call the other under duress; it told Dean that Sammy was still in there and he was warning him to attempt rescue with extreme caution. The very fact that Sam got through meant everything to Dean.

"So..." Dean couldn't bring himself to look directly at Sam, "Looks like your fix' in to make a career change."

"Just a change for the better, truer form of me." Said Sam. And he spread his arms wide as he continued in a booming voice said, "This is who I am Dean, this is what I was always meant to be."

"No Sam,...Sammy...this was never meant for you or any of those other kids that yellow eyed bastard tainted," said Bobby as he came up from behind. "It was HIS plan, he infected you with, had nothing to do with destiny, boy." And Bobby threw a length of rope he'd fashioned into a lasso over Sam in a perfect hoop.

Sam struggled against the rope that bound him but to no avail. Bobby had rubbed its length over himself first coating the coil with Dean's blood and effectively making it impervious to Sam's struggles. He was caught and it enraged him.

"Aarrrggghhghhhhh! You can't do this! You don't know what it will do! You gonna kill me big brother? You gonna kill the only human being that ever loved you, that was always devoted to you? And you think me a monster? Sam curled his lip and sneered at Dean who was slowing advancing toward the circle.

Dean's legs felt like lead, each step was an effort of will to make him move closer to the thing that was once his brother. "You...know I would ...never...hurt you." Dean felt tears sting his eyes.

"You wanna risk that Dean? You wanna destroy every cell in my body to try to retrieve just one speck of the Sammy you remember? Well, he's not here. It's just me... and you kill me... you kill Sam, plain and simple."

Dean could barely see straight. He roughly swiped away the tears welling up in his eyes.

Bobby took the length of rope he was still holding and pulled it down hard, tugging Sam to his knees, and then he passed the end through the anchor bolts that secured the machinery next to the circle effectively tying the struggling Sam down. He looked at Dean with eyes filled with a sorrow of his own and said, "Ya gotta do it, you know it's gotta be done."

And Dean let out a sob, quickly glanced away and swallowed hard several times.

"You can't do it, you said you'd never be able to and you won't do it now !" Sam yelled at him.

Dean looked back up and at that moment saw his own face grimaced in pain play across what used to be his brother's. Dean watched in horror as his own lips silently screamed Sam's name over and over again. And then suddenly for one brief moment Sam's face returned, his true face and it was in anguish too but he could speak and he said, "Do it"

It was all Dean needed to hear, he strode over to the now writhing bellowing form, reached behind his back and drew out the plastic gun and pointed it at the abomination.

Sam's eyes flared ice blue fire he screamed 'NOOOOOOoooooo" Dean aimed and fired into the demon's mouth. The bellowing increased as the lights radiated out of every one of Sam's pores. The pulsing flares were so bright that Bobby and Dean had to shield their eyes. Sam's body was jerking and moving in ways that weren't humanly possible and Dean held his breath.

Then everything stopped and Sam sunk into a lump on the floor.

"SAMMMMM!" Dean rushed to the crumpled form of his brother lying on the sawdust and scooped him up into his arms. Bobby untied the rope from the eyebolts and pulled a book out of his camo vest and began to recite the ancient prayers for lost souls, the dead and the dying. He'd grabbed everything he could think for an incantation that would help guide Sam's freshly loosed soul back to his body.

Bobby's voice hitched a few times over the passages for the dead but Dean wasn't listening it was just a droning noise in the background to him as he lifted the heavy weight of Sam's limp upper body across his, ignoring the damage Sam may have suffered from the demons death contortions, he rocked his baby brother back and forth in his arms. _Nobody should hafta deal with this twice ina life time, don't you leave me, don't you leave me!_ Dean found himself saying again and again. As the shock set in for Dean it suddenly became so important to the pick the pieces of sawdust out of Sam's silken hair and touch his face. Sam's face was back, it was completely slack but it was his. But there was no response from it as Dean held him and murmured, "Sammy...Sammy... ...no..no...no..." Dean brushed a strand of hair away from his brother's closed eyes and looked down into Sam's slightly open mouth and his own body shuddered with sob as the grief hit him, 'Gone... gone again from me!' And three fat tears rolled out from his clenched eyes and traveled the path down his cheeks and onto his chin where they poised there a moment until with one ragged sob they fell.

Time slowed down then... The sound of Bobby's voice grew louder, the sound of Dean sobbing his name grew softer, the three wet tears fell into the open mouth of Sam Winchester and he felt again. The first thing he felt was pain. Then confusion. Then fear. Because the last thing he remembered was stepping out the door of Rufus's safe house with the intent to kill Lilith. And realizing he that was laying on his back and in this much pain made him doubtful that he'd accomplished that.

Sam twitched in Dean's arms and Dean could actually feel him become lighter as his brother's body came back from the darkness that had held him prisoner.

"SAMMY!!" Dean yelled and fought the urge to hug his brother tightly; he needed to gently ease him back down to do an inventory of injuries.

"Dean? I... where..." Sam said groggily as he gained consciousness, suddenly wide eyed he tried to sit bolt upright, "Is she dead?" He felt a number of hands grab him and steady him back down. "Easy there kiddo' came the friendly growl of Bobby's voice at his side, "We don't want you to move that much until we can check you out"

"Kay" Sam said as he let himself relax around the pain of the palpitation of Bobby and Dean hands as they each did triage on him.

Sam looked up into Dean's tear streaked face and said. "Dean did I...?"

Dean took Sam's arm and slowly rotated it at the shoulder and elbow, as he struggled to keep his face blank but Sam caught the quiver in his brother's lower lip. Dean answered, "Dude you gotta stop die'in on me."

Sam gave him a weak smile and nodded, "Ok...ok I will." Dean responded with a twitchy smirk.

Bobby said, "no broken bones that I can tell, probably some bruised or torn muscles but other than that he's fine".

Sam winced as they helped him up and he said, "Not just fine I feel better, like some weight I'd had all my life was gone from my gut"

"Like those giant tumors they take outta people in Ripley's? You know half their body weight suddenly gone?" Dean grinned at him.

"Yeeeah...yeeeeah..just like that" Sam shook his head and moved stiffly along with them.

"Dean! Dean Winchester! Shouted a familiar voice and the three men turned as two priests climbed over the rubble of the factory wall.

"It's me Father Mick! I know we parted on not the best of terms, but I brought my friend and Superior from the Vatican to explain how important...

Suddenly a lot of things happened all at once.

Maybe it was because they had been in the fight of their lives or maybe it was just the years of practice but Dean and Bobby reacted quickly seconds before the other priest shot the gun they saw him pull out; Bobby knocked Sam to the ground while Dean blocked the shot with his body.

The bullet ripped through his shoulder and Dean yelled in pain grabbing at the gushing wound. He fell to one knee and out of instinct pulled one of the silver knives from his boot and threw it with lethal accuracy into the chest of the Cardinal before he could aim the second shot.

Father Mick was frozen in shock, helpless to stop what was unbelievably happening before his eyes. It couldn't be true, the man he'd called his friend and mentor all these years had just attempted assassination of the living Saint they had been sent to retrieve!

The force of blade hitting the Cardinal had flung him backwards on to the rubble, the gun had gone off and the bullet pinged harmlessly off the old machinery. The sound of the shot broke the Father out of his shock and he watched the gun dropped from his friend's hand.

"Oh, Cardinal Tomas!" Father Mick sighed and he began to bend down to aid him when light shot out from the inside of the older man, his body convulsed with the death throws of the demon inside. Father Mick looked on in horror as he realized what he was witnessing. His friend, this devout man of the cloth had himself been possessed by a demon!

Father Mick dropped to his knees when the Cardinal' movements stilled and he put his hand beneath his old friends head. Bobby, Sam and Dean approached cautiously and they heard the Cardinal softly say to his friend in barely a whisper "What an extraordinary experience, Mick."

Father Mick tried to shush him, begged him to be still. Bobby turned to Dean and said quietly, "I'll go back to the house and call 911 and check on the kids," He looked down at the clergyman and noted the dark stain growing beneath him. "I don't think there's much you can do here."

Dean was still on edge but nodded and said to Sam, "Why don't you go back with him, the EMT's are going to need some help with the other wounded..."

Sam just looked soberly down at him and said, "No Dean we're not splitting up, bad things happen when we split up, Bobby can handle it."

Dean nodded to him and they both looked down at the Priest and his dying friend. Father Mick stared up at Dean beseechingly and said, "Can't you do something for him? Please?

Dean looked at Sam and his brother nodded for him to try. So he knelt down beside the older man. He took the hilt of the knife gently and slowly eased it out. Then put his own hand, bloodied from the gunshot wound in his shoulder, palm down against the seeping hole and pressed slightly.

The Cardinal moaned and roused, he grabbed Dean's shirt and pulled him down whispering into his ear. "There is no need my son, what the Lord giveth the Lord taketh away."

"Look I'm going to help you", Dean tried to reassure the Man of the cloth, "I didn't mean to try to kill you... just stop you from kill in' Sam... I just got him back...and..."

The Cardinal smiled the most beatific smile and looked up to Father Mick. "Could you do me the honor of performing my last rites while I talk to our friend, I have a message for him... and I need to tell him before I...(cough) before I move on."

Father Mick looked confused for a moment then he bowed his head and reached in to his vestment and pulled out the tools of his trade and began to recite the rites.

"Dean, son, the Cardinal began, "all my life I'd prayed to our Holy Father to let me witness just one miracle to know for sure that it was real. And in his infinite wisdom he has granted that wish to me today by giving me the honor of participation in one of the holiest missions this earth has seen in over 2000 years. (Cough)... For tonight he has given me the honor of being your release from his bond of servitude."

Dean was thinking that the blood loss was causing the old man to talk crazy and he pressed even harder to will his blood into the man's wound. But the Cardinal weakly grabbed his wrist and said softly, "It isn't going to work this time Dean. You are no longer with out sin, my death assures that."

Dean froze and swallowing looked up to Sam, he'd just got through bringing his brother back from the brink of death. Healing a living man's wound should be a cakewalk.

The older man closed his eyes and then smiled weakly. "Not after you used your blood to kill a man." The Cardinal reached up and clasped Dean on the arm, "were you really happy while you were in the state of grace, my son?" Dean didn't want to say 'no' to the dying man, he just looked back at him sadly. "The Lord knew of your discomfort but you shouldered your responsibility bravely and used the gift wisely according to His plan. Then leaning in to whisper in softer tones the Cardinal said, "even refusing to be distracted by the ill conceived offers of our Holy Mother Church, that took guts son" (cough) the Cardinal sighed and laid back, "so consider this a reward for good behavior, you get to have your old life back with His blessings... and mine." With that the Cardinal shakily raised his arm up and made a sign of the cross on Deans fore head. Then the man's arm went limp and dropped as he sighed out his last breath.

Father Mick had finished the rites moments before and witnessed the last exchange his friend had had with Dean. He stood up and looked back down on the earthly remains of a new Saint that used to be his friend. Dean rose too and the two of them locked eyes. "I didn't know" Father Michaelson started to say. I didn't understand that this had been His plan all along."

"I..."Dean looked over to Sam, "We had been in this a long time, all our lives. But even we didn't...I didn't see the bigger picture...I thought it had been just about family."

Father Michaelson smiled a sad smile, one that he knew he would be wearing for a while from now on and clapped Dean gently on his undamaged shoulder saying, " it is son, it always has been."

The end

Please review-this one came to me in a dream and practically wrote itself but I never would have pursued it if you hadn't encouraged me to do so. Thank you all so much.


End file.
